Life’s Journey Blog
Rest Stop (Leap Day) … 5 tips to make it unique
Today is a day which only comes around every 4 years! Today, “Leap Day”, exists to correct the scientific calculations of our current western calendar. But, I’m not writing about the scientific reasons for this day. Instead, I imagine great possibilities that this extra day provides us.
I tend to look at this day as a gift given us to be used wisely. I figure that a day which only comes around every 4 years deserves to be treated in a unique and special way. This day is not like any other day, although I fear most people don’t recognize the uniqueness of this day. Why is it that a day which happens only once every 4 years becomes overlooked by most of the population? Personally, I don’t have an answer to that question. But the answer is not as important if we now come to the realization that we have been given a unique gift in this day.
So, we need to celebrate this day in a special way! This is extra time given to us in our very busy lives. What shall we do with this gift?
- My first suggestion is to acknowledge the specialness of this day, understanding that today is a gift given to you.
- Make a list of the top five things for which you are grateful. Set aside a specified time today to acknowledge your gratitude.
- What one thing do you typically not have time to do? Write down the time that you will do that one thing today. If your one thing cannot be accomplished today, then begin to work on preparations to make that one thing happen soon. Use today as your extra time for those preparations.
- If you don’t regularly meditate, set aside a time today for at least 10 minutes of quiet meditation. If you are unsure how to meditate, either do an internet search, or check out my website which has suggestions.
- Do something special for yourself which you normally either would not do, or do not typically have the time to do.
If you happen to see and read this post too late in the day, or not even on the day, don’t fret. These suggestions work on any day as long as you have the motivation and the desire to make them happen. Please share with us what you were able to do, or if you had any difficulties in making this day special. We will learn from each other.
Happy Leap Day!
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Rest Stop (Thursday) … mindfulness meditation works
As many of us spend much of our time rushing around, we don’t seem to have the time for meditation. I often write and speak about the importance of daily meditation, understanding that there are more of us who want to meditate than actually do meditate. Good intentions; I know, I’ve been there.
One of the rationales I hear from busy people is “I would take time to meditate if I knew it would help me, but it’s just a fad, right?” If your definition of a “fad” allows for the practice of meditation lasting thousands of years, than yeah, it’s a fad. I believe that our culture sees meditation as a “fad” because it is “new” to our culture, and the practice of meditating has been relegated to the “new age” genre. As such, some don’t feel the desire to try something that will “eventually go out of style”.
But what if mindfulness meditation were scientifically, and medically, shown to be healing and transformative? A few months ago I shared with you a study from Harvard which demonstrated that meditation generated new grey matter in the brain. Well, we now have the results of a study done at Carnegie Mellon University which “for the first time shows that, unlike a placebo, it [mindfulness meditation] can change the brains of ordinary people and potentially improve their health.” This is what the authors of the study wrote:
Click here for the link to the New York Times article summarizing the study
Click here for the link to the actual research article
Please share with us your thoughts on this topic, and if you practice meditation, do you find positive health results?
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Rest Stop (Valentine’s Day) … love is an action
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
Heart Cloud (credit: unknown)
Today, as many of us celebrate Valentine’s Day, our thoughts turn to love and those whom we love. But do we really understand what that simple, yet very powerful word, LOVE, means? This four letter word holds power, and not just power over our emotions, but also power over the prospect of world peace.
So what does this word mean? Personally, this is a tough word for me to reflect on since my natural inclination is more toward the intellectual pursuits not understanding my emotions. Yes, as a counselor I deal with emotions, but note what I wrote: “my” emotions. I have no issue in helping others to come to an understanding of their own emotions and how they affect their lives. But my emotions, well, that’s a whole different story.
So, what is love? This is what the Christian bible states about love:
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Rest Stop (Ash Wednesday) … letting go
Today, Christians around the world will receive ashes on their forehead as a reminder that we came from dust and will once again return to dust. Therefore, “Ash Wednesday” is a time to pause, reflect on our lives, and make plans to remove from our lives those aspects of ourselves which do not lead us closer to our God.
The practice of pruning our lives of those areas which are not healthy or which take us away from our inner-peace, produces a sense of humility as we realize that we are not perfect, but that we have the ability to learn from our imperfections. Letting go allows us to be true to ourselves, and open to the guidance of others.
There are people who exemplify humility, and for me, the ideal example comes from Saint Francis of Assisi. He was a wealthy son of a powerful merchant father, who, after gaining personal insight, gave up everything to live in poverty and to serve the poor in the spirit of Jesus. It wasn’t simply the giving up of everything that made Francis humble; it was his attitude and way of living. In the book “The Way of St. Francis: the Challenge of Franciscan Spirituality for Everyone“, author Murray Bodo, OFM writes:
In other words, living our lives focused on our values, and in a true sense of a love of neighbor, will keep us grounded (humble) and focused on our priorities (simplicity). Today’s closing prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours morning prayer nicely sums up what I am saying: “Change our selfishness into self-giving. Help us to embrace the world you have given us, that we may transform the darkness of its pain into life and joy.”
What can we do to help us attain humility and simplicity?
- Spend 10 minutes each day in quiet, focusing your thoughts on simple phrases and your breathing.
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Spend time watching and reflecting on the nature around you. Do you see the ant, flower, bird, leaf, dog, cat, etc. What are they doing?
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Make a list of your life’s priorities. Those items at the top of your list need your full attention. The rest, well, decide what is necessary and what is merely clutter in your life.
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Help others. Love your neighbor.
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Rest Stop (Saturday) … coping with the Blizzard 2016
Winter Scene (Credit: unknown)
As I write this I, like millions of other people along the NE coast of the US, have hunkered down in the house due to the blizzard occurring. As of this moment it is still snowing and I already have two feet of snow on the ground.
Personally, I love snow. This event is a joy for me, and I am like a kid again. I see the beauty in the snow, it’s uniqueness, the sights, sounds, and smell in the air. All of this is perfect for me! Yet, I do realize that my love of this weather is not shared by everyone. There are many people who despise this weather, and, there are those who have been panicking for days before the start of this storm.
I am not in any way judging anyone, since each us views life from our own perspective, and that perspective is our reality. So, although I was not panicking over this storm, those that were truly felt fear. Panic is defined as: “a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons.” (Panic at Dictionary.com. 2006. 24 Jan. 2016. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/panic) One of the reasons we panic is because we allow ourselves to “live” in the future where we have no control over the events. That realization of our lack of control brings on our panic.
Living in the moment is when we will feel at peace, but living in the moment is not always easy to do. In this short video I talk about ways we can change our perception to therefore change our reality to find peace.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfMN_UXaBiQ]
Share with us your ways of coping with events which otherwise would worry or panic you.
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Rest Stop (Monday) … celebrating peace & unity
Today, in the USA, we remember and celebrate the pastor and civil rights activist, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In honor of Dr. King and all he stood for, I created this collage of three of his quotes for us to reflect.
I believe that Dr. King’s message is universal, and a call to action for us to live each day in love and justice.
How can each of us live his statements in a concrete way?
Share with us your thoughts.
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Rest Stop (Saturday) … post holiday blues
Do you hear that sound? What sound, you ask? The sound of calm after the holidays. The moment when we realize the guests have left and the errands are complete. The moment when we finally look around and notice all we have missed while immersed in the hustle and bustle of preparing for the holiday.
Personally, the days immediately following New Years Day are mixed emotion days for me. The first couple weeks of January I relax in the glow of Christmas and the expectation of new beginnings. Yet, intermingled amidst my joyous feelings there is a feeling of sadness as I realize that the holiday season has ended as “normal” life returns. Since the time when I was a young child I have loved the period from Halloween to New Years because of the festivities, the traditions, the foods, smells, sights, etc. Yet it seems that as soon as Halloween is upon us, in a flash, we are past New Years Day! As I sit writing this post I wonder where it all went. I think back to the preparations, excitement, anticipation, expectation, then the joy of Christmas’ arrival … now what? As I sit here and reflect I wonder what’s left? How did this season get away from me so quickly?
I don’t believe that I am alone in my emotions, nor do I need to be a counselor to understand the rationale for why many of us feel down after the holidays. Here are some actions I do for myself to cope with my feelings this time of the year. I hope they will help you, too:
- Spend a moment each day closing your eyes, slowing your breath, and focus on your feelings. Whatever you are feeling, feel it, reflecting on the origin of the feeling.
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If you find yourself experiencing the holiday blues, don’t hide those feelings nor ignore them. Acknowledge them to yourself and others. Many people are feeling the same way.
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Recall the parties, family gatherings, people you met, family members with whom you reconnected. Recall the memories, not in a perspective of “it’s over”, but in the perspective that it happened. How did those encounters affect you or change you? What can you take away from these encounters? Might you have made new friendships? Connect with the new friend. Did you meet distant family members? Develop a plan to stay in touch in a meaningful way.
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Recall your fondest and favorite memories of this holiday season. How do those memories make you feel? Take that feeling and find a way to make the feeling last into the new year.
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Make a conscious effort to find a way to make Christmas, its spirit and meaning, last into the new year. If we can do that then there is no longer a need for the holiday blues since the holiday will never truly end.
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Rest Stop (Epiphany) … flexible expectations
Today the Christian world celebrates the Epiphany; the commemoration of the moment when the three kings, or wise men, arrived at the birthplace of Jesus. They had journeyed far and long, following a star in the sky. Why did they embark upon this journey? They noticed something different and new in the sky; sensing its importance, they chose to follow it. They interpreted this sign in the sky to be significant and a sign of the arrival of a powerful person, a king. I have no doubt that although wearied by the journey, they were excited by the anticipation of their findings.
When they arrived at their destination they found the powerful person whom they were seeking, in a barn! Talk about blown expectations. Their journey of significance; their journey of anticipation at finding a powerful king on his throne, led them instead to a barn and a baby lying in a manger. A manger, its prior and intended use, from which the lowly and dirty animals ate. They found a defenseless baby laying in an animals’ food bowl. Talk about a let down.
Along our life’s journey, when our anticipated expectations don’t live up to reality, how do we react? What did these wise men do? According to the story, they not only stayed, but they knelt in homage to the baby in the food trough.
These wise men were able to recognize that although their expectations of finding a powerful man on a throne was a baby lying in a feeding trough, nonetheless they were able to recognize that their journey still had meaning. They were flexible with their expectations, understanding, through wisdom, that just because what they encountered did not match their expectation, it didn’t mean that the reason for the journey itself was flawed or wrong. The journey was true; the expectation is what needed to change. These wise men, after paying homage to the special baby, returned to their homeland by a different route; a new path. In a truly symbolic way, these wise men were so changed by their experience, that their “old path” no longer would lead them home. They now took a new way, and new approach, a new path, to find their way to their home.
How often do we feel disappointment at our journey’s end and thus respond by turning around and going home? What if the wise men did the same? They were able to “see” beyond their own expectations and were thus open to a new way of perceiving the world around them. The wise men didn’t act upon what they previously thought, nor upon their previous expectations. Rather, they saw more deeply the true reality before them. It is in that shift in perceiving and thinking which allowed them to see what was really present, and to be changed by the experience, not changed by their expectations.
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Rest Stop … New Year 2016 is here!
Marvin New Year’s comic strip 2014
Happy New Year 2016!! As I reflect on writing this post I realize that this time last week I gathered with family and friends to enjoy Christmas Day, while just last night I joined with family and friends watching the Times Square ball descend into a new year. A lot seems to happen in a short time during the holiday season. But what does it all mean? As I relax with a good cup of coffee on this first morning of the new year, I reread this Marvin comic I came upon a couple of years ago as I feel it’s still perfect for today! When you think about it, what makes this morning any different from yesterday’s morning? It feels the same; I’m doing the same things, the people around me are the same, the scenery is the same, and yes, the smell is the same. But I am told it is the start of a new year! New beginnings from old. New opportunities and adventures! Ahhhh….. the promise of new. But it doesn’t feel new. Does it feel or smell new to you? What is different today from yesterday? So, if this new year still “smells” like last year should I feel cheated out of that new car smell experience?
One of the reasons for this comic’s relevance is that many of us place too high of expectations on ourselves, especially this time of the year. I am not saying that this is not a fine time for resolutions. Of course it is! But are your resolutions and expectations reasonable? Challenging oneself can be a growth opportunity since through challenges, struggles, ups and downs, your goal may be achieved! Go for it! But what if you found yourself wanting more once you realized the new year didn’t smell any different from the old? What if you realize nothing has changed? For too many of us this is what happens along our journey. We expected a particular day to be one way, and when it wasn’t we were disappointed. But was your expectation realistic?
In a few days (January 6) I will be recalling the moment when the wise men arrived at the end of their journey searching for the newborn king, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. As with the wise men, when we journey toward our God, toward inner-peace, we can’t help but be changed. When we truly seek to find greatness, we can’t help but to be changed by the greatness we sought. How often do we feel disappointment at our journey’s end and respond by turning around and going home? What if the wise men did the same? They went beyond their own expectations and were open to a new way of looking at things. They didn’t act upon what they thought, rather, they looked more deeply at the situation and recognized that their expectations were not correct. Yes, it was a mighty king they found, but not how they imaged Him. Yet that didn’t matter. They learned to look at situations differently, not just from their own perspective It is that shift in perceiving and thinking which allowed them to understand the present moment, and to be changed by the experience.
In this new year, when our experiences don’t smell as they “should” (according to how I feel they should smell), try to take a moment and look at your situation, the new year, and find the deeper reality. Look beyond yourself to other possibilities. Challenge yourself to learn something new about this world around us. And in so doing, I have no doubt that your life’s journey will begin to take a new path.
May you all have a happy and blessed New year, filled with many new paths, adventures, and even new smells.
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