Posts Tagged ‘empowerment’
10 Key Benefits of Coaching You Need to Know
In today’s fast-paced world, we often find ourselves seeking ways to improve our lives and reach our full potential. This is where coaching comes in, offering a powerful tool to unlock personal and professional growth. The benefits of coaching extend far beyond simple advice-giving, as it has an impact on various aspects of our lives, from goal-setting to self-awareness and productivity. Taking time for yourself by seeing a life coach is not selfish. Click here to read a previous article I wrote on that topic.
We’re excited to explore the key advantages that coaching brings to the table. Whether you’re considering working with a life coach or looking to enhance your leadership skills, understanding these benefits can help you make informed decisions about your personal development journey. From gaining clarity on your goals to boosting your performance, we’ll dive into how coaching can be a game-changer in your quest for success and fulfillment.
Clarity and Goal Setting
We believe that one of the most significant benefits of coaching is its ability to provide clarity and help in setting meaningful goals. Coaching serves as a catalyst for personal and professional growth by offering tailored guidance and support [1]. Through our coaching sessions, we engage in targeted conversations and use skillful questioning to unlock insights and foster self-awareness [1].
Defining personal and professional objectives
In our coaching partnership, we work together to identify your desired outcomes, both short-term and long-term. We help you formulate goals with clarity, specificity, and relevance, ensuring you have a clear vision of what you aim to achieve [1]. Our approach involves active listening and open communication to gain insights into your needs, preferences, and constraints [1].
We use the SMART goals framework to ensure your objectives are aligned with your vision [2]. This process helps us co-create goals that resonate with your values and ambitions [1]. We also focus on setting realistic and achievable milestones within your given context and resources, fostering a sense of progress and motivation [1].
Creating actionable plans
Once we’ve established your goals, we guide you in breaking them down into actionable tasks, creating a structured roadmap for progress [1]. This involves:
- Identifying specific actions
- Setting timelines
- Allocating resources to ensure effective execution [1]
We work collaboratively to devise strategies that suit your strengths, preferences, and circumstances [1]. By customizing approaches, we ensure that your action plans are aligned with your unique attributes and facilitate sustainable change [1].
Overcoming obstacles
An essential part of our coaching process is helping you anticipate and overcome challenges that may arise during goal pursuit [1]. Through open dialog, we assist in identifying potential obstacles and co-create strategies to address them proactively [1].
We provide a supportive space for self-reflection, helping you uncover strengths and align your life with your values [2]. In the business realm, we offer strategies for overcoming challenges and achieving professional goals [2].
By working together, we empower you to navigate through challenges, maximize your potential, and achieve your desired outcomes [1].
Enhanced Self-Awareness
We believe that self-awareness is a cornerstone of personal and professional growth. It’s the foundation upon which emotional intelligence is built and a key driver of self-control [3]. By developing self-awareness, we can evaluate ourselves with a degree of objectivity, recognizing both our strengths and weaknesses [3].
Identifying strengths and weaknesses
In our coaching sessions, we guide you to recognize your strengths and build upon them while addressing your weaknesses effectively [4]. This process involves analyzing your day-to-day activities, listening for patterns in how you speak about your work, and conducting strengths-based interviews [5]. We encourage you to take inventory of your performance reviews, awards, and feedback from colleagues and loved ones [6]. This comprehensive approach helps uncover blind spots and provides a well-rounded view of your capabilities [6].
Recognizing limiting beliefs
We help you transform self-limiting beliefs into empowering ones that align with your objectives [4]. By examining your thought patterns, we can identify beliefs that may be holding you back. This process of self-reflection and feedback facilitates exploration of your current behaviors, values, attitudes, and perceptions [7]. We work together to break unhealthy behavior patterns and develop new, constructive outlooks that drive positive change [7].
Developing emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in positive ways [7]. Through our coaching, we help you develop skills to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, and overcome challenges [7]. We introduce techniques such as mindfulness and meditation to enhance your emotional management [4]. By improving your emotional intelligence, you’ll be better equipped to navigate complex work and life situations, leading to stronger personal and professional relationships [3].
Improved Performance and Productivity
We believe that coaching plays a crucial role in enhancing performance and productivity. Through our coaching sessions, we guide you to develop essential skills that can significantly impact your professional growth and efficiency.
Time management techniques
We help you master time management skills, which are vital for organizing and prioritizing tasks effectively. By implementing these techniques, you’ll be able to meet deadlines without undue stress and reduce reliance on others [8]. Our coaching approach emphasizes proactive task management, enabling you to support your personal and professional goals more effectively [8].
To improve your time management, we introduce strategies such as:
- Planning and scheduling
- Record-keeping
- Stress management [8]
We also help you leverage digital tools that best suit your needs, ensuring you stay on top of your responsibilities [8].
Prioritization strategies
Prioritization is a critical skill that we focus on during our coaching sessions. We teach you to focus your time and energy on what’s most important and will have the biggest impact [9]. One effective method we use is the Eisenhower Matrix, which helps you quickly categorize tasks based on their urgency and importance [9].
We encourage you to:
- Align your work with your values and the company’s goals
- Focus on one task at a time to avoid distractions
- Regularly evaluate your progress and adjust as needed [9]
Personal Growth and Development
We believe that coaching is a powerful tool to unlock your potential and maximize your performance [11]. Through our coaching sessions, we guide you on a journey of personal growth and development, helping you step out of your comfort zone and into new realms of possibility.
Building confidence
Our approach focuses on building your self-confidence, which is crucial for achieving your dreams [12]. We help you quiet your inner critic and reconnect with your core passions and beliefs [12]. By highlighting your natural strengths and acknowledging your progress, we foster a sense of empowerment that allows you to trust your instincts and move your life in a positive direction [13].
Developing new skills
We work with you to identify areas for skill development and create action plans to acquire new abilities [11]. Our coaching process involves setting clear, achievable goals that act as a roadmap for your growth [14]. We provide ongoing support to ensure that you not only achieve these goals but also maintain your progress over time [14].
Expanding comfort zones
Stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for personal growth. We gently nudge you beyond familiar routines, helping you recognize the cost of staying within your comfort zone versus the benefits of embracing change [14]. Through our coaching, we support you in facing challenges, breaking through limitations, and seeking solutions [11]. This process leads to greater confidence, improved problem-solving skills, and increased adaptability [11].
Conclusion
Coaching has a profound influence on personal and professional growth, offering a range of benefits that can transform lives. From gaining clarity on goals to boosting self-awareness and performance, coaching provides the tools and support needed to unlock potential. It empowers individuals to overcome obstacles, develop new skills, and step out of their comfort zones, leading to increased confidence and productivity.
The journey of self-improvement through coaching is ongoing, with each step bringing new insights and opportunities for growth. Whether you’re looking to enhance your career, improve relationships, or simply live a more fulfilling life, coaching can be a valuable ally in your journey.
To take the next step in your personal development, reach out to the life coaches at Lifesjourney Life Coaching: 240-587-7854. By embracing the power of coaching, you open doors to new possibilities and pave the way for a brighter, more successful future.
References
[1] – https://jdmeier.com/power-of-coaching/
[2] – https://www.robinwaite.com/blog/how-a-personal-and-business-coach-can-help-you-reach-your-goals
[3] – https://johnmattone.com/blog/why-executive-coaching-must-emphasize-self-awareness/
[4] – https://liquidsmarts.com/mastering-self-awareness-with-transformational-coaching/
[5] – https://coachesinsider.com/track-x-country/identifying-and-coaching-to-your-strengths-6/
[6] – https://directions-coaching.com/2020/07/29/how-to-objectively-assess-your-strengths-weaknesses-at-work/
[7] – https://www.evercoach.com/coaching-guides/emotional-intelligence-coaching/
[8] – https://www.growthspace.com/post/time-management-skills-coaching
[9] – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-coach-prioritization-nicolas-vautier
[10] – https://cmoe.com/blog/how-can-coaching-improve-performance/
[11] – https://unabridgedleadership.com/from-comfort-zone-to-growth/
[12] – https://movingforwardcoaching.com/confidence-coach/
[13] – https://fearlessliving.org/how-a-confidence-coach-helps-clients-realize-their-self-worth/
[14] – https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/stepping-out-comfort-zone-how-coaching-catalyzes-andy-hall-n4tse
Self-Care Why Do We Struggle With It?
I often speak and write about the significance of self-care in maintaining our overall well-being and achieving success in various aspects of life. However, despite this awareness, many of us don’t find the additional time to prioritize self-care, so it remains a challenging task. Keep reading to find out why self-care is a struggle and how to work it into your routine.
Feeling Shame
Many people struggle to prioritize self-care in their lives due to a fundamental belief that they are not deserving of it. This lack of self-worth stems from a poor self-image, where individuals fail to recognize their own value and importance. Shame itself is too large a topic for us to fully explore in this article.
However, it is crucial to understand that everyone deserves self-care, regardless of their circumstances or perceived shortcomings. By actively working on improving your self-image and reminding yourself of your inherent worth, you can overcome this barrier and find it easier to carve out time for self-care amidst the demands of a busy life. Remember, self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for overall well-being and happiness.
You Don’t Make the Effort
It can be difficult for some people to prioritize self-care due to negative self-image or poor time management. If you’re in this situation, it’s important to address these aspects. You might find it is easier to engage in self-care by putting it directly into your schedule.
You Don’t Know What Self-Care is
These days, people say “treat yourself,” but it’s crucial to understand that it’s not the same as self-care. You should only treat yourself after a specific activity, not all the time. Take “treating yourself” as having a snack or staying up late on Saturday night, and “self-care” as making sure you eat healthy and get enough sleep every day.
You Are Tired
People have a hard time with self-care because they’re just so tired. Without adequate self-care, this problem will perpetuate, causing you to feel progressively more fatigued. If this is difficult for you, focus on self-care and rest, so you’ll be ready for future sessions without feeling tired.
Bottom line, there are many reasons why you might be struggling with self-care. It’s important to understand why you’re having trouble with self-care so you can find a solution. Without self-care, you will continue to be tired and stressed.
What can we do to overcome these struggles to live a balanced life which includes self-care?
Actionable Steps
- Incorporate Regular Physical Activity:Aim for at least 20-30 minutes of moderate exercise, such as walking, jogging, or yoga, each day. By being physically active on a regular basis, you can boost your energy, uplift your mood, and decrease stress, which can prevent feelings of tiredness and low energy. Even a short walk can invigorate your body and mind, making it easier to tackle daily tasks with enthusiasm.
- Prioritize Quality Sleep:Establish a consistent sleep routine by going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, aiming for 7-9 hours of sleep per night.Quality sleep is crucial for mental and physical rejuvenation. A regular sleep schedule helps regulate your body’s internal clock, ensuring you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day with vigor.
- Eat Balanced, Nutrient-Rich Meals:Focus on consuming a balanced diet rich in unprocessed foods, including fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains, while avoiding excessive sugar and refined carbs.A nutrient-dense diet provides sustained energy and prevents the sluggishness associated with poor nutrition. By fueling your body with the right foods, you enhance your overall well-being and maintain steady energy levels throughout the day.
Integrate these steps into your daily routine to improve your energy, motivation, and well-being. Remember, small, consistent changes can lead to substantial improvements in your daily life.
If you’re ready to work on your self-care please call the office: 240-587-7854 or email us: booking@lifesjourneyblog.com and we’ll guide you to a healing self-care.
Why Are We Lying to Therapist: Understanding the Dynamics
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Did you know that a study found over 90% of therapy clients are lying to therapist at least once? We often craft narratives that stray from the truth, masking our insecurities, or diminishing our struggles. Such dishonesty might seem benign, yet it hampers the very core of therapeutic work designed for our personal growth. While we may shield ourselves with these half-truths out of fear of judgment or embarrassment, understanding and confronting this dynamic is crucial for genuine healing.
In this article, we explore the delicate threads that entwine our words with secrecy in the therapy room. We’ll examine the common reasons why we might find ourselves saying “I lied to my therapist,” delving into the complexities of shame, the urge to please, and the instinct to avoid pain. Recognizing the role of trust in the therapeutic relationship is fundamental, and throughout this article, we aim to empower you with the courage to embrace truth-telling for a more fulfilling therapeutic experience.
Lying to Therapist
When we step into the therapy room, we carry with us the weight of our stories, the ones we tell ourselves and the ones we share. Yet, the fear of judgment is a towering barrier for many of us, often leading to moments where we find ourselves lying to our therapist. This fear can manifest in various ways:
- Hiding Behind Falsehoods: It’s not uncommon to pretend to agree with the therapist’s suggestions or to deny our insecurities. We might even minimize our suffering, trying to present a more composed version of ourselves. This act of self-censorship stems from a fear of being criticized or feeling embarrassed.
- Coping Mechanisms: For some of us, lying is a familiar coping mechanism. It’s a way to maintain a positive self-image or manage transference and countertransference issues, where feelings towards the therapist or vice versa influence our willingness to be truthful.
- Building Trust: Trust and rapport are cornerstones of the therapeutic relationship. If they are lacking, we might withhold information or lie as a defense mechanism. It’s crucial to remember that therapists are trained to help, not judge. Admitting a lie can be a significant step towards building a stronger connection with your therapist.
Addressing the fear of judgment requires courage and a commitment to honesty, even when it feels uncomfortable. If a technique doesn’t resonate with you, it’s important to be forthright with your therapist. And if the fear of opening up persists, it may be time to consider finding a new therapist with whom you can build a more trusting relationship.
Shame and Vulnerability
In our journey of self-discovery and healing, we often encounter the heavy cloak of shame that can lead to vulnerability in the therapeutic setting. This shame, a potent and sometimes paralyzing emotion, can significantly increase the likelihood of llying to your therapist. It weaves a complex web where outright lies, secrets, or even lies of omission become a shield against exposing our deepest insecurities and perceived flaws.
Here are some insights into the dynamics of shame and vulnerability in therapy:
- Types of Dishonesty: Clients may resort to various forms of dishonesty, such as minimizing facts, offering half-truths, exaggerations, or white lies. These actions are often driven by a fear of judgment, embarrassment, or the instinct to avoid confronting difficult emotions.
- Confidentiality and Repercussions: A common misconception is that being open in therapy could lead to negative repercussions. However, therapist-client confidentiality is designed to protect the things shared in therapy, creating a safe space for honesty and growth.
- The Impact of Lying: While it may seem like a protective mechanism, lying to a therapist can undermine the therapeutic relationship and hinder progress. It’s important to foster an environment where clients feel safe to be vulnerable and truthful.
To counteract the effects of shame, developing self-compassion is crucial. It allows clients to accept their experiences without self-judgment, promoting honesty in therapy sessions. Counselors play a pivotal role by understanding the impact of shame and guiding clients towards acceptance and self-compassion, which are essential for a truthful and healing therapeutic relationship.
Desire to Please the Therapist
In our quest for self-improvement and healing, we sometimes find ourselves wanting to present our best selves, even to those who are there to help us without judgment. This desire can lead us to say things that aren’t entirely true, as we navigate the vulnerable space of a therapist’s office. Here’s a closer look at why the need to please might lead us to be less than honest, and how we can move past this to foster a more effective therapeutic relationship.
- Seeking Approval: We may find ourselves lying to our therapist to avoid disapproval or to gain their approval. This could be due to an ingrained need to protect our ego, avoid conflict, or simply a misunderstanding of the therapeutic process.
- Addressing the Issue: To overcome the urge to please, we can:
-
- Acknowledge our shame and pinpoint where it surfaces in our body.
- Practice self-compassion to quiet these feelings of inadequacy.
- Embrace the courage to speak our truth, even when it feels daunting.
- Provide our therapists with honest feedback, which can foster closeness and make it easier to maintain honesty moving forward.
- Understanding the Consequences: It’s important to recognize that deception, even with good intentions, can have dire consequences. In high-risk populations, such as those who have experienced trauma or those dealing with suicidal ideation, not sharing the full picture can mean missing critical information necessary for survival. Therapists are equipped to handle these truths and are there to build a trusting, honest relationship with their clients, ensuring they receive the support they need.
Avoiding Painful Emotions
Avoiding painful emotions is a common reason we might find ourselves lying to our therapist. It’s a protective mechanism, shielding us from having to confront the discomfort that comes with vulnerability. Yet, this avoidance can lead to a host of negative outcomes, such as:
- Missed Opportunities for Growth: By not fully disclosing our feelings or the intensity of our experiences, we miss the chance to delve deep into the root of our issues, stalling our personal development.
- Strained Therapeutic Relationship: Therapists rely on honesty to provide effective guidance. When we say things like “I’m fine” or “I’ve never experienced that before,” we prevent them from understanding our true state, which can strain the relationship.
- Prolonged Suffering: “I’m taking my medication as prescribed” might seem like a harmless lie, but it can lead to prolonged suffering by preventing necessary adjustments in our treatment plan.
Research indicates that a staggering 93% of people lie at least once during therapy. The lies can range from small omissions to significant fabrications, such as hiding romantic feelings towards the therapist. While therapists may not always detect these falsehoods, the lies can lead to hindered personal growth and less authentic relationships, both within and outside the therapy room.
To foster a more effective therapeutic process, it’s important to:
- Cultivate Open Communication: Be honest about your feelings and fears. This honesty not only helps your therapist to assist you more effectively but also encourages you to practice open communication in other areas of your life.
- Build a Comfortable Relationship: Take the time to find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable and who listens to you, as this is foundational for developing trust and being vulnerable in therapy.
- Reflect on the Purpose of Therapy: Remember that therapy is a space for healing and growth, not for judgment or punishment. Embracing this can help reduce the impulse to hide behind lies.
By addressing the reasons behind our dishonesty and working towards a more truthful dialogue, we pave the way for more authentic relationships and a more fulfilling life.
Misunderstanding Therapy’s Purpose
In our therapeutic journeys, we sometimes find ourselves grappling with the true purpose of therapy, which can inadvertently lead us to be less than truthful. A fundamental misunderstanding of why we’re there—to foster self-awareness and growth—can result in a range of deceptive behaviors. Here’s a closer look at the dynamics at play:
- Navigating the Therapeutic Relationship: Many of us may not fully understand that the cornerstone of therapy is a candid relationship with our therapist. When we misunderstand therapy’s purpose, we might minimize our problems or withhold certain truths, not realizing that this hinders our progress.
- The Spectrum of Deception: The act of lying to a therapist can manifest in various ways, including:
-
- Minimizing issues to appear more stable or in control.
- Omitting details that we fear may lead to judgment or discomfort.
- Altering the narrative to avoid revealing our true selves due to fear of punishment, a desire for autonomy, or for secondary gains like sympathy or extended sessions.
- Subtle Cues of Dishonesty: Therapists are trained to pick up on subtle indications of deception, such as changes in voice pitch or speech rate, which can signal that a client might not be fully forthcoming. Recognizing these signs can help therapists address the underlying issues that lead to dishonesty.
To foster an environment of trust and openness, it’s crucial to set a tone of tolerance and workability within the therapeutic space. Managing lying in therapy involves complex, individualized decisions—but the goal remains the same: to nurture a relationship where honesty is the foundation, allowing for true healing and growth. This approach not only benefits the therapeutic process but also sets a precedent for how we interact in our personal relationships outside of therapy.
Lack of Trust in The Therapeutic Relationship
In the delicate fabric of the therapeutic relationship, trust is the thread that holds everything together. When this trust is compromised, particularly by deceit from the therapist, the effects can be detrimental. Here’s why honesty is paramount in therapy and how clients can navigate trust issues:
- Therapist’s Honesty: Therapists must uphold a standard of honesty, being truthful, and consistent in their interactions. Evasion or deflection can quickly erode the trust that is essential for progress in therapy. If you, as a client, sense any dishonesty, it’s imperative to address these trust issues openly to resolve them and maintain the integrity of your therapeutic journey.
- Navigating Power Dynamics: The power differential in the therapist-client relationship means that any lying by therapists is not only disrespectful but manipulative. It takes advantage of a client’s vulnerability. If you find yourself questioning your therapist’s honesty or feel that lying is a deal-breaker, it may be time to seek a new therapist who aligns better with your values of openness and integrity.
- Clients’ Self-Protection: Often, clients lie as a coping strategy to shield themselves from shame. Therapists should work to help clients understand their reasons for lying and suggest experiments for more flexible interaction. It’s about creating a space where clients can discuss their dishonesty without fear of rejection, understanding that lying doesn’t destroy therapy—itis the therapy. It’s a chance to learn new ways of interacting and to experience the unconditional care that they are often seeking.
Conclusion
Over the course of this article, we’ve unveiled the complex motivations that can lead individuals to conceal the full truth within the therapeutic setting. From the fear of judgment and the pressure to please, to the avoidance of painful emotions and a lack of trust, each factor plays a crucial role in the intricate dance of honesty and deceit. These dynamics not only hinder the therapeutic process but also impede our own potential for growth and self-discovery.
Acknowledging these barriers is the first step toward cultivating a therapeutic environment steeped in trust and openness. As we move forward, let us strive to embrace vulnerability and truth-telling within our sessions. Such courage lays the groundwork for genuine healing and paves the way for a more profound understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
If you’re ready to explore life coaching, I would be honored to help. You can read more about my practice or call/text me directly at 240-587-7854.
Happiness Is Not The Answer But Here’s What Is
Are you happy? The reason I ask is that many people tend to judge their life goals or where they are in life based on their level of happiness.
So, for our purposes, I describe happiness as “our level of satisfaction with what we have at the moment”. Now, when we say, “with what we have,” that could be our material goods, job, career, relationships, or anything else. So, taken in the context of my definition of happiness, are you happy?
This may sound strange, but I promote that happiness is not a goal to strive toward. Why would I stay away from a goal of happiness? Well, the reason that I say this is that we tend to look at happiness as “Am I satisfied with what I have right now?”
The problem with that question is that the answer changes over time. I might, as a child, be satisfied in life playing with a cardboard box. But, all that changes when I become a teenager and young adult, as that box may no longer make me happy. As I advance through adulthood, the whole notion of happiness changes again.
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So, when we look at the idea of “my life’s goal is to be happy,” are you saying you want to be happy right now, or are you talking about always being happy? If you want to always be happy, how are you going to do that? Is that a reasonable goal?
Happiness is a fleeting emotion which comes and goes. As such, happiness can’t be a life goal. This is why I don’t encourage people to seek happiness as a life goal.
Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I’m not saying, “Don’t be happy.” It’s important to be happy and to want happiness. What I’m saying is that happiness to fleeting to be a goal. If you think back on your happiest moment, can you feel that emotion again? If you can find that emotion again, can you live it to its fullest as you did then? Odds are, you can’t. Emotions are fleeting.
For me, I encourage people to find their inner peace. “What is inner peace? How can I achieve this inner peace?” I’ve come to realize that many of us feel stressed and anxious when we feel out of control. So, if I’m dealing with something in life that I feel is totally out of my control, and I think there’s nothing that I can do about it, I’m going to feel pretty stressed over that because generally speaking, we like to be in control. That’s just human nature.
When we’re not in control, then the stress goes up. When we find ourselves in situations we think is in our control, then our stress goes down. We can also find our inner peace when we are in union with ourselves. What do I mean?
Think about your values, those ideals which are important to you. What holds meaning for you? When you reflect on yourself, are you acting and thinking in ways that are in union with those values, those beliefs?
When we can become more in tune with what’s really important deep down then we begin to live that. We think and act in ways that unite us with what we are thinking and doing. That’s when we start to feel an inner peace because we are joined with our values and actions. Therefore, I’m at peace with myself since I’m in union with myself.
When I do things that go against who I am I’m no longer in sync with who I am, then I’m going to lose that peace.
Here’s a quote I often use, from the Talmud, that says, “We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” In other words, the way that I believe about and view myself influences the way that I see the world around me; other people, situations, and the like.
So, if I really don’t like myself, if I’m having issues with who I am, if there are things going on in me that seems negative, I am not going to look outside and say, “Oh, look at that wonderful sun,” or “Look at that beautiful sunset.” No. That’s not how I’m going to view it because I don’t view myself that way.
Here’s a true story from when I was in college. There was this professor who, every morning, if you walked up to him and said, “Good morning,” he would look at you with the sternest look and reply, “Don’t tell me what kind of morning to have.” He was not a happy man. He wouldn’t even let anybody sit with him during meals.
He had his reasons for this attitude given his history, but other people had similar histories as well and lived a more peaceful life. Yes, he had a reason to be upset, but even so, that was his past, and we still have the choice of how we wish to live in the present.
The bottom line is that we have choices in life. If you want to live miserably go ahead. Live the way that you want to live, but don’t complain about the situation in which you’re living if this is something that you’re choosing to do. You can’t choose your circumstance but you can choose the way that you view that circumstance, and for me, this is why I don’t promote people saying, “Well, my life’s goal is to be happy.”
Happiness is too dependent upon feelings, too dependent upon things, too dependent upon situations. You see if we promote living in conjunction with who we are and seek a life goal to find inner peace it doesn’t matter if I’m happy or not. Inner peace has nothing to do with my circumstance but everything to do with my response to the situation.
I could feel miserable; I could feel sad; I could feel angry; I could feel out of control; I could feel any of those things, but still have peace within myself because regardless of what I’m feeling, I’m acting and thinking in union with who I am.
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How To Live An Awesome Stress And Anxiety Free Life Without Worry
Stress and anxiety are felt by us all. We can live a stress-free life and this article explains how.
“I am capable of thinking … yet I am not my thoughts; I am the thinker of my thoughts; therefore I can change what I feel and still be me”. -Terence Gorski
Each of us are responsible for our thoughts. Just as we create our thoughts, so also do we create our emotions and behaviors. Stress and anxiety are effected by our thoughts and behaviors. Our everyday stress can be eliminated once we believe that we can control our thoughts, therefore controlling our stress response.
When asking the question, “Who am I?”, we discover that a part of the answer lies within our thoughts, emotions, and actions. I often write and speak on this topic since the cause of anxiety and stress originates within ourselves, namely, within our thoughts.
Bonus: Chris Shea is offering this free GIFT explaining how you can improve your life with life coaching! Click here to get it
We tend to feel stress and anxiety over situations in which we believe we possess a lack of control. The opposite being true; if I believe that I have control over a situation my stress and anxiety will be lessened. In my work experience I have witnessed clients remain in an unhealthy situation, even when there are healthy alternatives, because their fear of the unknown stops them from making a change. The unknown can be a source of fear for in the unknown we have no control. A lack of control leads to increased anxiety, therefore, someone may remain in an unhealthy situation since they at least “know” that situation and so assume they have control over it.
We need to keep our thoughts focused on the present moment, for it is only in the present that we have the control to make changes. Focusing our thoughts on the past may cause anxiety and a stress response as we can’t control or change our past; we can only learn lessons from our past. Focusing our thoughts on the future may cause stress and anxiety as we can’t control what has not as yet happened. To maintain a stress free life we need to keep our thoughts focused on the present moment.
This is one of the reasons an examination of our thoughts, and the importance in believing that I have control over my thoughts, is vital to healthy living in a stress-free and lowered anxiety state.
As I see it, there is a difference between stress and anxiety. Stress can be eliminated from our life, while anxiety, to varying degrees, will always be with us. I teach that stress, being subjective to the perception of a person, is a person’s emotional (and at times physical) response to life situations. Hans Selye, a scientist, in 1936 defined stress as “the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change”. Notice the word “change” in the definition. Change, an unknown factor and therefore something out of my control, causes a stress response. Stress, as I see it, is our subjective response to a perceived lack of control. Since it is our response, and we are in control of our responses (behaviors and actions), we can eliminate our stress by changing our response (belief and action) to the situation.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is a pervasive sense of worry or unease, typically about the future. Whereas stress is our response to current situations in life, anxiety is an unease within ourselves regarding future events and outcomes. Stress tends to come and go given our situations at the moment; anxiety persists, to varying degrees, within us. Since anxiety is a response to unknown future events, anxiety (assuming one is not diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder) leads us to take action. This action, in the form of preparing for the future, empowers us to tackle the unknown by taking control of things we actually have control over.
Anxiety is a component of our survival mechanism known as “fight or flight”. Anxiety is therefore a response in ourselves activated to help us survive by taking action! We will either physically or emotionally flee from, or stay to fight, whatever we perceive as a threat to our survival. This differs from stress which is our subjective response to a situation. Granted, mild stress may cause us to take action, but stress, as an emotion, is fickle as it comes and goes. Anxiety, mild most of the time, stays with us, vigilant in its mission of keeping us safe.
This is why, when I teach my clients about stress and anxiety, I teach them how to rid themselves of their stress, while reducing their anxiety. The goal for inner peace is not to eliminate our anxiety, the goal is in the actions we take to cope with our anxiety and everyday stress.
As I mentioned earlier, we can eliminate our stress by changing our response (belief and action) to the situation. How do we change our response? By changing our perception. The way we view the world is our perception, and our perception becomes our reality. This quote is quite powerful in its ability to succinctly explain the whole of what I’m trying to explain:
“We do not see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.” -Talmud
In other words, my perception of the world is directly related to my perception of self. Therefore, if I change my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as my view of myself, I will change how I see the world! This is why it’s important to reflect on our thoughts, believe that we can control those thoughts, and focus on eliminating stress.
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Can I Control My Future Plans? Yes You Can
Can I control my future plans? Yes you can when you change perspective.
Have you ever felt anxious about future plans or situations? I have, and I’m fairly sure most of you have, too. The anxiety we feel is caused because of the unknown. Future plans are full of unknown variables, and each of those variables will increase my anxiety if I focus on them. Focusing my energy on something I don’t know or can’t control is anxiety producing.
The solution seems obvious; either try to control what is out of your control, or stop focusing on what you can’t control. As easy as the solution seems, the practice of the solution is not so easy. It’s possible to reduce our anxiety about future plans to lead a fulfilling life, but it takes persistence and a willingness to make some changes in your thoughts.
Bonus: Chris Shea is offering this free GIFT explaining how you can improve your life with life coaching! Click here to get it
The first change we need to make to have a better future is our perception. Why perception? Because our perception is our reality. For example, if I perceive my relationship as broken, regardless of the feelings of my partner, in my reality it’s broken. My thoughts and feelings will lead me to act as if the relationship is broken. Assuming the relationship is not broken, I need to change my perception of the relationship so as to change my thoughts and actions about the relationship. When I change my perception I change how I think and feel. My emotions and my actions are in my control. When I believe that I have control over myself, and I make changes which are healthy, then my anxiety drops as I am now in control of my life, not out of control.
In this new perspective on life I start to see the world with some of that original wonder in which I used to see the world. I see a world with beauty. The biggest change is that now I’m looking more at the positive aspects of the world rather than from a jaded perspective. Yes, it is as easy as flipping from looking at the negatives to looking at the positives. I will now live a more fulfilling life in a better future.
Recently I had a client who was feeling a bit down and depressed because he was focusing on all that he had given up when he chose to stop drinking alcohol. The persistent thoughts of what was now gone placed him in this slump. If he flips his perspective he will realize all that he has gained as a result of no longer drinking to the point of getting drunk, missing work, all of which caused tension in the family. What he has gained is a renewed sense of self, an empowerment, a better family life, and a greater feeling of peace. Yes, he gave up something (alcohol), but he has gained much more than he has lost. The perspective shift is in his “choosing not to do” something versus his “giving up” something. Some will argue that this is merely a play on word usage. Maybe, but words are powerful and meaningful. Changing the words we use when we talk about ourself makes a world of difference on our outlook and perception.
Some of us choose not to change our perspective as we feel the issue is not mine but someone else’s. Blaming others or outside forces for how I feel takes away my control, giving that control to the other person or outside force. It’s all about empowerment. If I’m going to sit back and complain that nothing in life changes, or “I never catch a break”, my response is “what are you doing about it?” That’s the empowerment. Today, many groups and individuals are seeking and advocating for empowerment and choice. That’s exactly what I’m talking about! If you sit back and wait for something to happen you’re not empowered or in control of your life. Wake up one morning and empower yourself by saying “I’m going to think different; I’m going to look at life different.” This is the beginning of action and action is our power. Take action by controlling your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Now you are empowered and in control of yourself and your future plans.
Once you choose to take control of your life and change your perspective, you’re set to take the next step in dealing with the anxiety of that future plan or situation. One method that I teach my clients is making a two column list. Label the left column “what I can’t control” and label the right column “what I can control”. Now, examine the situation.
On the left column list all of the components of the future plans that you have completely no control over. On the right column list those components that you do have control over. When you’re done with your lists, examine the list of the things that I can’t control and consciously forget about them. Since we can’t control them or their outcome, there is no reason or need to focus on them. Our continued focus on these components will only increase your anxiety as there is nothing you can do about them. So stop focusing on that list. Rather, let’s talk about our focus on the other list, the list of things we can control. This list will enable us to live the fulfilling life of peace we desire.
We can’t simply forget about the first list as that leaves a void, and a void needs to be filled. What we fill that void with is the control we have over the right side column list. Filling the void by taking action on what I have control over will decrease anxiety since we are doing something about the future plans. Taking positive action to make a difference in our future provides us the comfort and security of a sense of control.
So now we start planning out what I will do to make a difference in those areas in which I have control. By taking action I’m affecting the outcome of a situation that I first thought was out of my control. I need to actively take control over what I have the ability to control. As a result I am now feeling empowered when I see the changes that I’m making. When I see change it encourages me to make more change which reinforces that I have the ability to make changes in future plans and situations.
When I talk about finding inner peace I’m talking about being in sync with my thoughts and feelings based on my values and morals. When my mind and heart are in sync, then I’m at peace regardless of what happens around or to me. I could feel a gamut of emotions, but while I feel those emotions, as long as I’m in sync with myself, I’ll still feel at peace with a perspective of a better future.
When negative situations happen in life, determining what I can and can’t control empowers me to take action on those things under my control. As long as those actions are in sync with my thoughts, feelings, values, and morals, then I remain in peace regardless of life’s situations or future plans.
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Tips For Positive Living When I Feel Stuck In Life
Do you feel it? There is a change in the air. The sun is a bit brighter and warmer, the air is losing its crispness, and the flowers are beginning to bloom! Where I live I know that Spring is coming by the position of the sun at sunset while I hear the cries of the returning osprey to their nest. When I feel stuck in life I reflect on the example of Spring and the newness it brings.
Have you ever reflected on what the earliest humans felt and thought as they observed their environment? Did they feel they were living a rewarding life? I can only imagine the confusion and fear of that first autumn and winter as our ancestors wondered, probably in fear, why the trees were dying, why the crops stopped growing and the green plants turned brown. Where and why did the animals go, and why have the birds flown away? I would imagine their feelings turning to despair as time moved on and the weather worsened with cold, snow and darkness. I would imagine that our ancestors felt stuck in life with these unknown changes occurring. I feel stuck in life just imagining what they were feeling. If you didn’t know that spring and summer were returning, what would you be thinking, feeling and doing? Imagine our ancestors’ feelings when the climate began to change as spring neared. The animals returning, birds arriving in the skies, trees coming back to life! Can you imagine?! Our ancestors must have been in awe, wonder, surprise, gratitude …. All is once again well with the world, and with them. It’s as if nature took a little baby step to make big changes. Over time they would learn to read nature’s signs and adjust their lives accordingly, but imagine what that learning process was like.The joys in the revelations and new-found knowledge must have been incredible! Truly they were living a rewarding life!
Bonus: Chris Shea is offering this free GIFT explaining how you can improve your life with life coaching! Click here to get it
How are you affected by the arrival of spring? Do you sense the newness? When I feel stuck in life I think of what I can do to make the most of spring. What is it that I can learn from Spring? As was true for our ancestors, spring is a time for us to be filled with awe and wonder at new possibilities. Regardless of what has happened in our lives, as nature is re-born, we too are re-born since we have opportunities to do things differently; to change. But how can I change? I take a little baby step when I feel stuck in life.
Most of us know what it’s like to feel stuck in life. One of the reasons why we feel stuck is because of our own thinking. We convince ourselves that we are stuck. A counselor whom I have known now for many years, Terrance Gorski, wrote this quote: “I am capable of thinking …yet I am not my thoughts; I am the thinker of my thoughts; therefore I can change what I feel and still be me.” In other words, since I am the one who thinks and creates my thoughts, it is in my power and capacity to change my thoughts. In so doing I change the way I feel. This in no way changes the events we live through, but if I can change how I think, and also feel, about the life event, than it no longer controls me; I empower myself by controlling me.
Just as spring brings newness from the dead of winter, changing our thoughts has the power to bring newness to our lives. As an aid to finding a rewarding life, here are some of my little baby steps:
- Spend ten minutes in quiet thinking about those areas in your life you want to change. Make a list.
- On your list write down your thoughts/feelings about those areas of your life.
- What is the new thought you need to have to make the necessary changes? Ask someone for help in doing this.
- Practice daily, hourly, or by the minute if necessary, thinking your new thoughts.
Focusing on the power that we have within ourselves allows us to change our thoughts, feelings, and therefore perspective on ourselves as well as on the world around us. When I feel stuck in life, I imitate the newness of spring and create a newness of beauty and a rewarding life within myself.
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How To Make A Resolution A Positive Goal
“Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.” – Peter Drucker
As the new year began many of us made resolutions for ourselves with healthy living intentions. We resolved to make our life better, to be healthier, to be successful, overall to be different from who we’ve been. But now, as the year progresses, we lament that many of our resolutions are not as accomplished as we hoped, and some we haven’t even started (or started yet now ended). What happened? What went wrong? Let me show you how to make a resolution.
As the Drucker quote states, our plans will not be successful, and we won’t reach our goal, if they don’t entail hard work. If we make resolutions which are too easy to accomplish we either put off for later, or just don’t fulfill us enough to continue with the task. If I may, I would like to expand on Drucker’s quote to include “plans which challenge and inspire us” we are more likely to stick with doing. The idea of hard work is important, but so are tasks which challenge and inspire.
Bonus: Chris Shea is offering this free GIFT explaining how you can improve your life with life coaching! Click here to get it
It’s difficult for us to continue with a task or make a resolution if we don’t imagine the end goal, and that goal not only challenges our abilities but also is inspirational. Meaning, in the wider scope of my life, what impact does this goal make on others. True, resolutions tend to be for our healthy living intentions, but if we can imagine a benefit beyond ourselves we are more likely to complete the resolution.
For example, if we make resolutions to eat healthier, and the goal is solely for my health, and even though the resolution may be challenging, and I am doing my best to actively eat healthier, the odds of this new task continuing, solely based on me being healthier, is slim. But, if I realize, and believe, that my new healthy diet will not only benefit myself but also my family and friends, then my motivation to be an example to others will make the odds of me sticking with my resolution higher.
One of the reasons self-help groups are effective is due to a community effort toward a shared goal. The members form a community of encouragement, understanding, action, and altruism. Each of these qualities are important, but it’s the altruistic nature of the members toward each other which encourages each member to continue in their resolve. If we view our resolutions in a similar way, we will be successful so long as we are altruistic.
Mindfulness, which is focused on living in the moment, is a beneficial foundation for creating our resolutions. Mindfulness teaches us that the past only exists in our minds. Reflecting on the past, when done non-judgmentally, allows us the opportunity to learn more about ourselves from our past experiences and choices. We can celebrate those moments when life was wonderful, and we can examine those moments when life didn’t go well to decide what we can do different now and in our planning for the future. In this way our past isn’t ignored but honored for what it teaches.
Making resolutions is a beneficial way for us to set goals for ourselves based on what we’ve learned from our past. Making these resolutions allows us to live in the moment as we take the time to figure out what it is we resolve to improve. Resolutions don’t need to be made only at the beginning of a new year.
One of the wonderful elements of living in the present moment is that we can “start over” whenever we need to. If my day is not going as planned and I find myself getting frustrated, I can stop, breathe, and start again. I don’t need to wait until the next morning, or even the next year to start over. I can start over any time I feel the need. Therefore, if you find yourself needing more time to work on your resolutions, take the time rather than rushing through a list because of a self-imposed obligation.
Here are my tips for how to make a resolution for healthy living intentions:
- Before creating your resolution list, take the time to reflect on your past. On a piece of paper (or e-device), make two columns, one column for what events went well; another column for those events that did not go well.
- Consider what you have learned from living through the events of both columns. What you feel you need to continue to learn, or to work on, is the beginning of your resolutions list.
- Ensure that any resolution you create is doable and realistic. Yes, we do need to challenge ourselves, but we don’t want to set ourselves up for failure, either.
- For each resolution, write out a “plan of action” listing the resources you will need to accomplish your goal. Make sure that before you start your resolution you have the needed resources necessary to attain your goal.
- Give each resolution a due date, to keep you on track. But, if you find that you are working the resolution yet need more time, be flexible with your schedule.
- And, this is my favorite, be compassionate with yourself! Yes, push yourself and challenge yourself; but if you are honestly doing your best to accomplish your goal, be compassionate during those times which are the toughest.
Make resolutions which will give you a new beginning. Challenge yourself while keeping your expectations reasonable. Then you will see changes in your life which will translate into inner peace.
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Have A Positive Life Through Mindful Imagination
As I’ve grown older I realize that I’m not as creative as I was as a child. Whether that’s actually true or just my perception, it’s my current reality. Children have a sense of wonder about them, partly because many of their life experiences are new to them. I watch the reaction on the face of my granddaughter, not yet a year old, and I see the wonder and amazement as she experiences the word around her for the first time. I don’t remember ever being that age, but I do remember that as a child my imagination and creativity were awesome!
As children, we imagine ourselves as being any occupation, and even some made up super human people saving the world. Our desire to experience the world in all its fullness, and add to it, seem to wane in many of us as we age. I think the education system is partly to blame, but, realistically, I blame the economy. Why? Most of us need to find employment to survive, and many of the jobs are routine and mundane. Rare are those who gain employment wherein imagination is necessary. The rest of us simply live out our lives, as happy and content as possible. Yet lacking in imagination.
Imagination guides us toward our hopes, keeping us enthused and passionate about life. Imagination leads to discovery and understanding. Imagination, when grounded in reality and sprinkled with an appropriate amount of dreams, guides us along the path of possibilities. Imagination is what separates us as humans from the rest of the animal world. We have the ability to think and feel beyond and outside of our reality. We have formed societies on the imagination of national borders, religions, and money; none of which exist but for our imagination. We place importance and value on gold rocks and shiny gems, but the reality is that their value only lies in our imagination. How is this any different from a child placing value on a random object?
Bonus: Chris Shea is offering this free GIFT explaining how you can improve your life with life coaching! Click here to get it
Mindfulness, focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, enables us to be rooted in the present moment. Children live in the present moment, focused on what they now feel and in what they are now doing. In a positive way, we can learn from the example of the child who is so focused on the present that they notice the wonders of the world which pass us by in our hurried lives. What child doesn’t stop to watch the ant or to play with the spider, all the while the adult is yelling at them for taking too long to get something done.
In that moment when the child is watching the bug they are also imagining what that bug’s life is like. Where does it live, does it have a family, is it playing or working? The child uses their imagination to learn more deeply about the world around them. Do we?
Understanding and believing that my current reality does not always need to be my reality, imagination blossoms into hope. Mindfulness allows us the understanding that we can’t change our past, but we can learn from the past to help us prepare for the future. Our current reality, our current situation in life, does not need to be our reality in the future. The only way that I’m going to see a different future is to imagine a different reality. My imagination is capable of becoming my reality.
Who I am has a lot to do with my imagination. Ask yourself these questions:
- As a child, how did I imagine myself and my world?
- As an adult, how have those images and dreams changed?
- What are the common themes?
- What, practically, can I do to make my dreams a reality?
Don’t let adulthood stop you from imagining, dreaming, or having a sense of wonder! Experience your reality in all of it’s wonderment, and imagine a future of hope, possibilities, and peace! Children do.
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How To Cope When Addiction Runs In The Family
Nowadays, the unfortunate reality is that many of us have been affected in some way by addiction. We personally may not be the person suffering from the addiction but odds are there is someone in your family or circle of friends who either is currently addicted or is working on a program of recovery. The latest opioid crisis has brought addiction to the spotlight, but addiction as a problem has been around for decades.
More and more families are affected by addiction and are seeking ways to cope with a situation that places any family in a crisis mode. Even the healthiest of families find their world turned upside down when needing to deal with a family member suffering from addiction. I have worked in the addiction field for a couple decades and have seen the positive outcomes of recovery and have witnessed how families have gone from their lowest points to becoming healthy and whole. I am not saying this is easy, but I am saying it is possible.
Before I get into discussing the impact that addiction has on a family and what the family can do to cope with the addiction, I would like to offer a definition of addiction. Addiction is referred to as a chronic disease characterized by drug seeking and use that is compulsive, or difficult to control, despite harmful consequences. Yes, addiction is classified as a disease not unlike any other medical disease. unfortunately, many in our society continue to view addiction as a moral failing and a choice rather than the chronic disease that it is. If you are unsure that addiction is a disease please check medical websites as they will show you why and how the medical profession views addiction as a disease.
What we mean when we say that addiction is chronic, is that addiction runs in families and is passed on from generation to generation. Not unlike chronic heart disease or diabetes, chronic addiction is treatable yet not curable. A person diagnosed with having an addiction does not have to suffer daily from that addiction but must daily treat the addiction.
I like to refer to addiction as a “family disease” since the family unit is greatly impacted by an individual member’s active illness. As the disease of addiction progresses and the person with the disease begins to change their behavior, attitudes, and how they deal with the family, the family unit changes their behaviors and thoughts in order to cope with the changes of the person with addiction. When the person with the addiction enters recovery, meaning they are no longer actively using, their behaviors and thoughts will return to a more healthy view of life. But, if the family has not made any changes then the family unit remains unhealthy as they continue to view the person in recovery as if they were still using.
Therefore, it’s important to treat the person with the addiction as well as to treat the family as a whole. Not that it’s the fault of the family, but rather it’s to help the family learn healthy coping skills. If a family member were diagnosed with chronic cancer the family as a whole would be greatly impacted and would change how they view the person with cancer. Helping that family cope with the member suffering from cancer is no different than helping a family cope with a person suffering from an addiction.
So, what can a family do to cope with the crisis and upheaval in their lives as they experience the active addiction of one of their members? Let me first start with a few “don’ts” for a family to consider:
- Don’t blame yourself! Although this is a natural response to the crisis, blaming oneself does not offer a solution but only spirals you into a depression or a “pity party”. The reality is that you did not cause your family member to use regardless of what they may tell you while in the midst of their active addiction. Even if we were to admit it was your fault, the act of blaming yourself still does not give us a workable solution to cope with or solve the problem. It’s important to remind yourself that this is not your fault and you are not to blame!
- As difficult as this may be, don’t live your life solely for the person with the addiction. Instead, continue, as much as possible, to live your life as you have been.
- Don’t enable. This is very difficult but essential to helping the person with the addiction to move toward recovery. Enabling takes many forms but generally speaking anything you do which ultimately helps the person to continue with their addictive behaviors is enabling. In most cases family members don’t enable out of a desire to continue the addiction, but rather they make choices, out of love, but which end up enabling instead of helping.
Let’s now look at a few tips that a family can do to cope when addiction runs in the family:
- The first thing I always recommend families do is to care of themselves. Coping with a family member who is suffering from addiction is quite taxing and drains family resources. It’s important to do things which have nothing to do with the coping of the person with the addiction. If the family member is outside of the house then the rest of the family needs to take time to do things on their own to maintain their family bonds. If the person suffering from the addiction lives in the household it is important to have family time either with or without that person but not talking about the addiction. Don’t allow the disease of addiction suffered by one person bring down the entire family.
- Educate yourself about addiction. The more you know the more you will understand what your loved one is going through and how best you can help them. Understanding that it is not your job to change them, but as a family it is your responsibility to guide and support them to the best of your ability. As I mentioned above, you are not to blame for the situation and so it is not your full responsibility to “fix” the situation.
- One way to help with family self-care and education is to seek family or individual counseling, or to find support groups. Groups such as Al-Anon are made up of members who are also doing their best to cope with the active addiction of a loved one. I know it’s difficult to seek help, but if the family falls apart how will the family ever be able to help the person with the addiction? Seeking outside help will, in the end, teach healthy coping methods which will bring the family closer together.
- Managing expectations will keep you grounded and remove some of your stress and anxiety. Many of us feel anxious or stressed when outcomes don’t match up with our expectations. Keeping our expectations based on reality will help us feel some inner peace. For example, a reasonable expectation is that the person suffering from the addiction seeks help, whereas an unreasonable expectation is that the person will become cured just because you told them to stop using. If recovery were as simple as being told to stop doing what they’re doing they would have done that at the beginning.
- Continually remind yourself and the rest of the family that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing to be judged. The longer you feel that it is a moral failing the more frustrated you will become when your loved one continues their use. Reminding yourself that they are suffering from a disease will reduce some of your frustration as you realize that your family member is not necessarily being obstinate but that they need proper medical care to treat the illness from which they suffer.
Not only does the person with the active addiction suffer from the consequences of their disease but so do their loved ones and family members. The disease of addiction is a family disease, so treating it as such will help all members of the family cope in a healthy way with the crisis placed upon them. Never give up hope! I have witnessed many families come out the other end of addiction closer and healthier than they were prior to the crisis. Seek help for your loved one, but just as importantly seek help for the family.
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