Tips For Helping Those Who Are Suffering During The Holidays

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To quote a popular song of the season: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” While this sentiment may be true for many of us, it is not necessarily the shared sentiment of everyone. As the end of the year mark’s a time for celebrations, holidays, and traditions which bring together families and spark feelings of joy, there are those whose memories and sentiments of this time of the year are quite different from customarily expected.

There are those who suffer from mental illness or whose memories of the holiday season are not of pleasant times. It is unfortunate that many of us forget that not everyone perceives this time of the year in the same way that we do. I’m not writing this to chastise anyone or to bring down the mood the season. What I am saying is that we need to be mindful of those around us who may be suffering while we celebrate.

Many of us feel the burden of unreasonable expectations for perfection this time of the year. While we still have our day-to-day tasks to do we must also decorate, buy gifts, and attend social functions. These expectations can cause stress and anxiety even in those who are enjoying this time of the year. Imagine the stress and anxiety felt by those who are simply trying to cope with life let alone the added expectation of the season.

What can we do to help?

  1. Create an awareness within yourself and teach your children to understand that not everyone feels joyous this time of the year. This awareness is not meant to place a burden on ourselves, rather as a recognition of the reality of others.
  2. Create an environment where people feel open to honestly share their feelings. At parties or gatherings encourage everyone to participate, while being respectful of those who are having a difficult time participating. Try to plan activities which would allow for a person to participate to the degree in which they feel comfortable.
  3. Be mindful that your expectations about what makes up a traditional celebration may not be the same expectations of others. Allow yourself the flexibility to be open to the traditions of others and to how others may be feeling. For example, if you are organising the family dinner, take into account any family members who have had a difficult year. Allow them the space or the time to speak if they wish. Be aware that their showing up may have been a difficult task in and of itself.
  4. If you know of someone who does suffer from a mental illness or is finding this time of the year to be emotionally difficult, be a supportive friend. Allow yourself to be present to them even if words aren’t spoken. Encourage them to join you at small gatherings and surround them with people who have their best interests at heart.
  5. Be supportive of those whom you know are suffering this time of the year by encouraging them to be selfish. Selfish in the sense that they need to do things to take care of themselves regardless of the expectations placed upon them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to prioritize yourself, it is actually essential to your well-being to do so.
  6. Take time from the busyness of this season to be an effective listener to those who are in need of sharing their feelings. Encouraging and allowing those who are suffering to share how they feel can be the most helpful thing you can do for them. Silence is not good for someone who is suffering emotionally this time of the year, even if they feel it is better for them not to speak. Lovingly encourage them to share by letting them know that you will listen without judgement regardless of what they share.

During this holiday season as we join together with our families and friends let us be grateful and joyous in our traditions and fellowship. But let us not forget those who are emotionally suffering at this time of the year. Being respectful, understanding, and lovingly present is the best holiday gift a person can receive. 

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5 Tips on How Mindfulness Will Change Your Life

mindfulness goal

 “Hey, did you see that?”

“No, I missed it. What was it?”

Does this conversation sound familiar? It sure does to me. My days were so busy and hectic that I had no time to care to notice something other than the task hand. At the end of each day I wondered where the day went! I had always lived that way, until recently.

A few years ago I changed jobs to one which allowed me to have the summer off. After 20 years of working year round, having a few months off was strange, and even unsettling. After a week without I had no idea what to do with myself. I was ”forced” to slow down. It wasn’t comfortable at first, but over time I started to discover that I was physically, mentally, and spiritually slowing down. As I was slowing down I found myself feeling more peaceful. As the summer progressed I no longer was anxious, I didn’t rush, and I began to notice the world around me.

I wasn’t yet consciously aware of this, but I was beginning to live mindfully. As I slowed myself I focused my thoughts and attention to the present moment. No longer was I dwelling on my past nor anxious about the future. Wow! What a change for me as previously I was the king of anxiety and worry!

Mindfulness is commonly defined as: “a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” (Jon Kabat-Zinn) Personally, the two key phrases in this definition which I feel are important are “on purpose” and “nonjudgmentally”. To find our inner-peace we need to consciously make the choice to spend time every day focusing our attention on what is happening around us and within us. Our focus is not meant to judge what is happening, just to notice it, to experience it.  As we become aware of our surroundings and inner self, we become aware of life’s joys and potential. In this state of focused awareness, we are enabled to see solutions; to see hope.

The goal of mindfulness is for us to slow down enough to fully experience life. Mindfulness is not a means to avoid negative aspects of life, but to fully live those experiences to learn how to cope with them in a healthy way. Many of us try to avoid negativity, yet discover that we may be successful at avoidance for a time, yet once again we are hit with that which we were avoiding. Mindfulness asks us to be aware of all of our emotions, to feel everything, even the negativity. In so doing, we end up coping with what we at first wanted to avoid. Coping teaches us skills for dealing with future negativity in our lives.

Living mindfully is a daily practice of noticing the little things. For example, one can eat mindfully by doing so intentionally, savoring each bite, and not rushing through a meal without truly tasting the food. During your commute, or rushing from one task to another, one can mindfully (intentionally) notice the details of the flora, buildings, people, cracks in the sidewalk, etc.

How does mindfulness lead us to feeling peaceful? The short answer: mindfulness guides us to live in the moment, for it is only in the moment where we have “control” in our lives. By control, I mean our ability to change our thoughts and perceptions. If I allow my thoughts to stay in either the past or the future, I will suffer from stress and anxiety since I have no control over those time periods. All that I can do with the past is to learn lessons; in the future, all I can do is prepare, in the moment, for the unknown which has yet to happen. Therefore, keeping my thoughts focused on the present moment allows me to feel life to its fullest, while choosing the thoughts I wish to think.

A bit over 5 years later I now find myself living in a sense of peace. Does this mean that my life is now perfect? Not at all! What it does mean is that through mindfulness I learned a new set of coping skills. This is what I’ve learned since that summer:

  1. Spend time each day in meditation, whether it be in stillness or walking. Just 10-20 minutes a day will calm and center you.
  2. Each time my thoughts venture to either the past or the future, I consciously change my thoughts to the present moment.
  3. Spend time noticing the little things in life. Observe your surroundings, your feelings and your thoughts.
  4. If you notice that you don’t like how you feel, our you are not feeling at peace, change your perspective and redo numbers 1-3 above.
  5. Always believe in hope, even if you don’t feel hopeful at the moment. Hope and change is possible even without my belief in it.

Inner-peace is attainable if we take the time to focus our thoughts on the present moment. It takes practice; I’m still working on it. But if you have the desire to incorporate mindfulness into your daily practice, follow this maxim: “Progress, not perfection.” (Eds. Note: This article was originally published at Your Tango. Reprinted with permission from the author.)

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Learning from the 9/11 attacks

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World Trade Center “cross” 9/11/2001

Today we remember all those who lost their lives, and those families who lost loved ones in an attack on innocent lives. I recall that Tuesday morning in 2001 as if it were yesterday. My question now is the same as it was 15 years ago; how do I make sense from a senseless act?

I often write about the need for us to change our perspective, so I found this quote by Henri Nouwen, a renown spiritual author, quite enlightening:

“Many people live with the unconscious or conscious expectation that eventually things will get better; wars, hunger, poverty, oppression, and exploitation will vanish; and all people will live in harmony. Their lives and work are motivated by that expectation. When this does not happen in their lifetimes, they are often disillusioned and experience themselves as failures. But Jesus doesn’t support such an optimistic outlook. He foresees not only the destruction of his beloved city Jerusalem but also a world full of cruelty, violence, and conflict. For Jesus there is no happy ending in this world. The challenge of Jesus is not to solve all the world’s problems before the end of time but to remain faithful at any cost.”

This is not to say that we give up; but rather that we re-frame our expectations toward realistic goals such as peace within ourselves, our families, our communities.  We are asked to accept and trust in God.  A trust not always easy to come by in light of the realities of the suffering in our world. How can I trust in God through all that is happening around me?

In a book entitled “Franciscan Voices on 9/11“, one of the contributors writes:

“In the scriptures, God does not say, ‘Do not fear, I will take away all the pain and struggle.’ Rather, we hear, ‘You have no need to fear, since I am with you’ and together we will make it.”

These quotes give me hope and encouragement. The wisdom of these writers encourage and challenge me to stop living in fear and sadness, rather, to take action to make a difference in our lives. We therefore need to challenge ourselves to find opportunities in our families and local community wherein we can bring about peace.

I am inspired by the then chaplain of the NYC Fire Department, Fr. Mychal Judge, OFM, who arrived at the Twin mychaljudgeTowers shortly after they were struck by airplanes, to minister to the needs of the first responders. Fr. Mychal lost his life when the ceiling of the lobby collapsed upon him, moments before the collapse of the Tower itself. A prayer, attributed to Fr. Mychal, sums up why he did what he did; risking his life for others, and the lesson I take away from that fateful day:

Lord, take me where You want me to go,
let me meet who You want me to meet,
tell me what You want me to say,
and keep me out of Your way.

 For more “tips” on coping with the hardships of the world, check out my article “7 Ways To Face The Horrors Of The World With Hope AND Realism“.

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How to Stop Numbing the Pain

Pain, whether it be physical or emotional, is unavoidable in life. We all try our best to avoid pain, almost at all costs. As a society, we make every effort imaginable to avoid, end, or numb, all pain in life. Yet, the more we try, I feel the more we end up still in pain and not feeling at peace or happy. According to the US Centers for Disease Control & Prevention, “In 2012, health care providers wrote 259 million prescriptions for opioid pain medication, enough for every adult in the United States to have a bottle of pills.” 

Talking about pain leads to many questions, both practical and philosophical/spiritual. In my life experience, I have found that the two main questions asked about pain are: “Why do I feel pain?” and “Why does a loving God allow pain?” For the purpose of this article, I would like to focus on the former question, why do we feel pain? Maybe if we understood the “why” we would better understand how best to cope with pain.

According to Barbara FinlayThe basic function of pain is the same for all vertebrates: it alerts an animal to potential damage and reduces activity after trauma.” Therefore, pain is necessary. Pain alerts us to a problem so that we stop and cope with whatever has happened. For example, continuing to walk on a broken leg causes more damage to the leg. The pain of the broken leg forces us to stop and deal with the break. The same is true when we are feeling an emotional pain. That pain tells us that we need to stop and deal with the cause of the pain, for if we choose to ignore the cause of the emotional pain, we will continue to live in an unhealthy way, never feeling truly at peace.

So why is it that we spend copious amounts of energy and money to avoid pain? If pain is “good” for us, why do we want to get rid of it? Don’t misinterpret what I am saying, for I am not saying that pain itself is to be desired! Rather, I am saying that pain is a part of our lives, and learning to cope with pain and not numbing or avoiding pain, will lead us to inner peace. In a recent article titled “How To Stop Using Hunger To Numb Your Emotions”, my recent podcast guest Brandilyn Tebo writes: “I fundamentally believed that I was not allowed to have what I really wanted until I proved that I was ’worthy’ enough. So I would rather numb my desires than feel them because not feeling anything was easier than wanting the fulfillment that I couldn’t have.”

I believe that Brandilyn’s desire to not feel is shared by many of us. In not feeling, our lives are seemingly easier. Yet, in not coping with the real reason of our pain, healing doesn’t take place, and one’s peace will not be realized. Not unlike a broken leg; numbing the pain does not heal the leg nor deal with the cause or issue of the pain.

Learning how best to cope with pain is not easy, but is doable and essential if you wish to find true peace, happiness and freedom in life.

  1. Acknowledge the pain. Avoid the temptation to numb and avoid the pain. Instead, recognise that the pain is telling you something. Reflect on the possible cause of the pain and look at ways you can cope with the cause. Remember, the pain is the symptom of the problem.
  2. Realize that you are not alone. Understand that what you are experiencing is also experienced by others. There is no pain that only one person in this entire world suffers from. Seek out others who suffer the same pain. Console and aid each other. When we help others, we feel better about ourselves. Seek out support groups, online sites, chat rooms, etc.
  3. Embrace your true self. Acknowledge that you are not perfect and that there are aspects of yourself in need of improvement. Yet, at the same time, there are aspects of yourself which are good and healthy. No one is perfect; we all have our flaws. Embrace that which you wish to numb, then do the work needed to make changes in your life. “I thought that if I allowed the rejected parts of myself to be expressed, that I would lose myself. What I discovered was that only through facing and eventually embracing these parts of myself did I truly find myself.” (Brandilyn Tebo)

In his book “Mosquitoes in Paradise”, Fr. John Aurelio imagines what would have happened had a mosquito bitten Adam or Eve in paradise. Would the bite have itched? Most likely. Wouldn’t that mean that pain was present even in paradise? Yes. Fr. John relates that the pain caused by the mosquito is not intentional, rather, it is a natural survival method for the insect, while the pain we suffer is a natural response from our body. Yes, pain is a part of our lives, but that pain does not have to wear us down. Embracing and learning from the pain leads us to a healthy and peace filled life.

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learning life lessons from Olympians

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Have you, like me, ever dreamt of becoming an Olympic athlete? As I watch the current Olympic Games the talents of the athletes never cease to amaze me! Knowing that I will never be a member of an Olympic team, yet I realize that I can still learn much from these Olympic champions. Their example of persistence and training encourages me to do the same in my daily life.

Jim Ochowicz, who competed in the 1972 Olympic Games and coached the 2000 and 2004 USA Olympic men’s professional road racing team, said in a 2008 Forbes interview: “People don’t know the process which [athletes] undertake in their individual sports to reach the Olympic level. You get there by sticking it out. There [are] a lot of people that try and give up.” This quote inspires me!

In life, here is what we can learn from Olympic athletes so that we can achieve greatness in our personal lives:

  • Focus on what matters.  One key principle every successful athlete learns early on in their career is to stay focused on the task. In training, practice, and on the field, focus on one’s task and goal takes precedence above all else. For us to achieve success in life, we too need to maintain our focus on what matters most. We need to prioritize our goals and keep up our focus on achieving those goals. Not unlike an athlete, we will train, practice, and stay focused on our life’s goals.
  • Determination.  I feel that the secret to being determined is in doing something that you love and are passionate about. Think of the amount of hours, every day, an athlete gives to training and practicing their sport. Could they keep up that level of consistency and determination if they disliked their sport? Of course not. Find your passion and make it work for you. It may be a risk, but it’s a risk worth taking.
  • Practice daily.  As a counselor who studies behavior, I know the importance of repetition. If you can do the same behavior every day for at least one month, you will notice that the new behavior becomes an unconscious routine.
  • Coaching.  Who makes an athlete into the best they can be? Their coach! Who supports and challenges you? Find someone in whom you trust to be your confidant and coach. Let them guide you, challenge you and support you.
  • Take care of yourself.  Olympic athletes follow more people other than their sporting coach. Athletes have nutritionists, counselors, medical professionals, spiritual guides, etc. A great athlete understands that they need to keep up health in all aspects of their lives, as do we. It’s necessary then for us to make the time for relaxation, meditation, exercise, eating healthy and feeling healthy.

Katrina Radke, an Olympian swimmer who placed fifth in the 1988 Olympics has said: “If we focus on doing what makes us feel good, we can commit to it more easily. Once we get in the habit of ‘showing up’, we can have more chances of fully engaging our full self into the activity. In this place, I experienced much bliss.” There is nothing stopping us from becoming Olympic champions in our daily lives, except for our attitudes. Live like an Olympian and you will become one.

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5 tips for knowing when to unfollow someone

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The intensely heated political season in the US is leading people to unfollow others from their social media sites. It’s not just strangers they are unfollowing, either. I know of friends of mine who are unfollowing long-term friends, and, in one case, unfollowed a family member due to the political postings and comments they make on social media. Social media allows for a sense of anonymity, or, at least, a physical distance from the person with whom you are communicating, allowing people to feel more open and safe to engage in interactions which eventually lead others to unfollow them.

But what about in “real” life, as opposed to social media? There are people with whom we interact, whether it be at work, school, social circles, or even family members, whom we need to “unfollow” for our own mental well being. In a Forbes article (10 Toxic People You Should Avoid At All Costs) author Travis Bradberry writes: “Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious toxic people are. They found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response.” A toxic person is that person in our life who seems to suck the life out of us. Through their behaviors they create or live in constant drama, are needy, don’t respect boundaries, are critical of others, manipulative and judgemental. It’s important to note that I am not saying that the person themself is toxic, but that their behaviors are toxic. This is an important distinction as I am not labelling a person.

In my clinical practice I find that toxic people tend to suffer from at least one personality disorder. A personality disorder is defined as “long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are unhealthy and inflexible. The behaviors cause serious problems with relationships and work.” Personality disorders begin in childhood continuing into adulthood. They are treatable with psychological intervention and behavior change work, as long as the person is willing to do the work needed to change their thoughts and behaviors to those which are healthy.

Albeit unfortunate that a person may suffer from a personality disorder which manifests as toxic behaviors, as the research indicates, we need to either learn how to protect ourselves or to know when to unfollow them in life. Here are my tips for knowing when it’s time to walk away from a toxic person:

 

  • Set limits. Maintain a healthy boundary by limiting your time with a toxic person as well as limiting your energy. You may choose to listen to what they are saying, but you don’t have to engage in their rant. Limit the amount of interaction you have with them, telling them what you are doing and what the limits are. If they can’t or won’t respect you, you need to unfollow them.
  • Be aware of your own emotions. Other’s emotions can be contagious, so be aware of your emotions when interacting with toxic people. If they are in a negative rant, check to ensure you too aren’t getting into those negative emotions. If you are, you need to politely leave the situation to refresh yourself. If the toxic person follows you or continues the rant after you’ve asked them to stop, you may need to unfollow them for your own emotional health.
  • Be solution-focused. We all have choices, and we can either go through life being problem-focused, only looking at the problem and becoming discouraged, or we can be solution-focused; proactive and focused on action. If a toxic person brings you down, act, either by leaving the situation, or focusing on the positive qualities of the toxic person. We all have positive qualities if we look deep enough. Focus on their positives, and if possible, use their positives skills to your advantage or to the advantage of the job. If this is not possible, you may need to unfollow the toxic person.
  • Be aware of your stress level. If you find yourself being stressed prior to encountering a toxic person, have self-understanding to avoid that person at this time. When we are stressed or anxious our defenses are down, therefore our ability to cope in a healthy way with a toxic person is diminished.
  • Don’t go it alone. I’m sure there are others who also are affected by the toxic person. Enlist their help, not in a negative way focused against the toxic person, but rather in a positive way to keep a check on yourself. You may be too close to the situation to always realize when you need to get away from the person. Utilize healthy people in your life to help you stay on top of your emotional health.

 

Coping with toxic people is not easy, but if we understand that they are most likely emotionally suffering, and that their outward toxic behavior is a result of that suffering, then possibly we can learn to approach them with a bit of compassion. Your compassion, though, should not stand in the way of your emotional health. In life, as in social media, sometimes we need to unfollow people.

References:

University of Colorado Denver. (2014, April 22). Impact of Facebook unfriending analyzed by researchers. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 14, 2016 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140422130936.htm

Bradberry, T. (2015, November 10). 10 Toxic People You Should Avoid At All Costs. Retrieved July 14, 2016, from http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/11/10/10-toxic-people-you-should-avoid-at-all-costs/

Personality Disorders. (n.d.). Retrieved July 14, 2016, from https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/personalitydisorders.html

{This article was originally published at Your Tango by this author. Reprinted with permission.}

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Rest Stop (Wed) … podcast listeners take note

Many readers of this blog access the content through sources other than the Lifesjourney website, so I thought I would point out to my readers that I also record a podcast called “On Finding Peace”.

“Life is sometimes difficult, but even so, it is always possible to find inner-peace. I talk about topics of daily life which cause us stress and anxiety, guiding us on how to change our perspective and to learn how to live in the moment.” -Chris Shea, host of “On Finding Peace”

I am open to topic suggestions, share your suggestions through comments made on this post, or Lifesjourney’s social media. The podcasts are typically 15 minutes in length; long enough to make a point, but short enough to listen in one sitting. Here are the places to find my episodes: soundcloud-logoListen to StitcherTuneIn_Logo_2000pxitunes-store-logoblanklife coach, lifesjourney, life, inspirational, mindfulness, certification, seminar, author, speaker, zen, meditation, Chris Shea YouTube logo

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The voice of “Lifesjourney” & of “On Finding Peace” is Ms. Amanda LePore. Check out her work by clicking her photo

Rest Stop (Mother’s Day) … love

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“Let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.”  1 John 4: 7; 12

Today, in the United States, we celebrate and remember our mothers on this their special day!  What is it about mothers which causes us to feel such a fondness for them?  For me, in my life’s journey and reflection, there is no truer description of a mother other than the word “love”.  Love, felt in its deepest sense, is expressed by a person (mom) just because we exist.  The love of a mother has nothing to do with who I am or what I give in return.  No, the love of a mother, whether she bore you or not, is freely given simply because you exist.  In this unconditional love is where we find motherhood as a reflection of the Divine, of God.  Total and complete love, not requiring anything else.

Several years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book entitled “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten“.  I would like to share it now as a tribute to Mothers and all they teach us.  I know this wasn’t Fulghum’s intent, but his reflection speaks perfectly to the lessons taught us by the women who very deeply cared for and about us.

 

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:

 

Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

 

BE AWARE OF WONDER. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all — LOOK.

 

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.

 

Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

 

And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

 

As we remember and celebrate Mothers on this day, how best can we honor the person who has given us the greatest gift of all: unconditional love!

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Rest Stop (Leap Day) … 5 tips to make it unique

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Today is a day which only comes around every 4 years! Today, “Leap Day”, exists to correct the scientific calculations of our current western calendar. But, I’m not writing about the scientific reasons for this day. Instead, I imagine great possibilities that this extra day provides us.

I tend to look at this day as a gift given us to be used wisely. I figure that a day which only comes around every 4 years deserves to be treated in a unique and special way. This day is not like any other day, although I fear most people don’t recognize the uniqueness of this day. Why is it that a day which happens only once every 4 years becomes overlooked by most of the population? Personally, I don’t have an answer to that question. But the answer is not as important if we now come to the realization that we have been given a unique gift in this day.

So, we need to celebrate this day in a special way! This is extra time given to us in our very busy lives. What shall we do with this gift?

  1. My first suggestion is to acknowledge the specialness of this day, understanding that today is a gift given to you.
  2. Make a list of the top five things for which you are grateful. Set aside a specified time today to acknowledge your gratitude.
  3. What one thing do you typically not have time to do? Write down the time that you will do that one thing today. If your one thing cannot be accomplished today, then begin to work on preparations to make that one thing happen soon. Use today as your extra time for those preparations.
  4. If you don’t regularly meditate,  set aside a time today for at least 10 minutes of quiet meditation. If you are unsure how to meditate, either do an internet search, or check out my website which has suggestions.
  5. Do something special for yourself which you normally either would not do, or do not typically have the time to do.

If you happen to see and read this post too late in the day, or not even on the day, don’t fret. These suggestions work on any day as long as you have the motivation and the desire to make them happen. Please share with us what you were able to do, or if you had any difficulties in making this day special. We will learn from each other.

Happy Leap Day!

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…. a thought from Chris Shea:

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My goal, and the mission of “Lifesjourney”, is to guide us toward finding self-awareness and inner peace. I encourage us to view our lives from varied perspectives trying to find what daily practices strengthen us along our journey.

Lifesjourney’s philosophy for finding inner peace lies in two basic concepts: keeping our thoughts on the present moment, and practicing some form of daily meditation.

“Mindfulness” is a word I often use in my writings, on my social media, and a concept I use with my clients. One of the pioneers in the mindfulness movement, Jon Kabat-Zinn, defines mindfulness as:

“a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

Personally, the two key phrases in this definition which I feel are important are “on purpose” and “nonjudgmentally”. To find our inner-peace we need to consciously make the choice to spend time every day focusing our attention on what is happening around us and within us. Our focus is not meant to judge what is happening, just to notice it.  As we become aware of our surroundings and our inner self, we will become aware of life’s joys and potential. In our state of focused awareness, we are enabled to see solutions; to see hope. 2016-02-02 19.11.33

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