Posts Tagged ‘meditation’
Rest Stop (Tues) … Tips for sleeping soundly
Based on my experience, there are two main reasons we have trouble sleeping: either because you are excited about something upcoming, or you are anxious about something upcoming. I can still vividly remember that night before we as a family were leaving for Washington, DC for the first time. I was a child then, and the thought of travelling all the way to where the president lives was almost overwhelming for me. I tossed and turned in bed; walked around my room, looked out my window into the dark, and before I knew it, I looked out my window to see the sun rising above the horizon. I finally fell asleep in the car during the over 8 hour drive to DC.
Personally, I suffered for many years on Sunday nights trying to get some sleep. I dreaded Sunday nights because as soon as I would lie down in bed for the night the worries and stress of the upcoming week flooded into my thoughts. I had not yet found the peace of living mindfully, and so I allowed the thoughts of the future to take over, believing the worst of what could happen come Monday morning at work. Note that I wasn’t worried about what was going to happen, but what I imagined would happen. These thoughts brought with them a sense of a loss of control as they are future thoughts, not present thoughts. Therefore, I would be tossing and turning, worrying about what had to be done, what I didn’t do, what I forgot to do; but most importantly, what I didn’t know I didn’t know.
In the last few years, as I’ve been working on living mindfully and in the present, I have learned some things which have helped me to no longer dread Sunday nights. I don’t have a nighttime ritual so to speak, but I have figured out a few things that have helped me to sleep peacefully, especially Sunday night.
Here are the tips I use:
- Prior to going to bed, make a list of the projects and tasks you need to do the next day. Make sure the list is no longer than 4 items and that each item is doable in the course of the day.
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Make a separate list of the things you will not have time to do the next day. Next to each item place a date when you will work on them.
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Write down a specific time during the next day when you will spend at least 10 minutes in quiet reflection/meditation. It could be a time for a walk or sitting in quiet. The time needs to be undisturbed and respected by you as important and necessary.
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When you do lay down to sleep, keep your room quiet and as dark as possible. Using white noise (there are many free and paid apps, message me for the ones I use) is helpful. Keeping the TV on or your phone’s screen on inhibit our ability to sleep soundly.
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Lay down in a comfortable position, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and focus on your breathing. Don’t try to control your breathing, just focus on your breathing. Note the breaths you take in, and the breaths you exhale.
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If intrusive thoughts enter your mind, remind yourself of your lists, telling yourself that you have taken care of tomorrow and that your present task is to sleep.
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Return your thoughts to focus on your breathing.
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Personally, when I lay in bed to sleep for the night, I start off by laying on my back with my left hand placed gently over my heart, and my right hand placed gently over my stomach, feeling my breaths and heartbeats.
These tips work for me. Take time to find what works for you, and when you find it, stick with it. Over time, with consistency, you will find yourself sleeping quickly and soundly.
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Rest Stop (Wed) … podcast listeners take note
Many readers of this blog access the content through sources other than the Lifesjourney website, so I thought I would point out to my readers that I also record a podcast called “On Finding Peace”.
“Life is sometimes difficult, but even so, it is always possible to find inner-peace. I talk about topics of daily life which cause us stress and anxiety, guiding us on how to change our perspective and to learn how to live in the moment.” -Chris Shea, host of “On Finding Peace”
I am open to topic suggestions, share your suggestions through comments made on this post, or Lifesjourney’s social media. The podcasts are typically 15 minutes in length; long enough to make a point, but short enough to listen in one sitting. Here are the places to find my episodes: 
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Ms. Amanda LePore
The voice of “Lifesjourney” & of “On Finding Peace” is Ms. Amanda LePore. Check out her work by clicking her photo
Rest Stop (Sunday) … an example of living mindfulness
I often talk about mindful living, yet I recognize the difficulty in fully understanding not only what it means, but also how it “looks”. When I first saw this video on social media I immediately said to myself “this is what mindfulness is all about!”
After watching this video reflect back on your experience, noticing your thoughts at time (past, present, or future), and recall your emotions while watching the video. Although not created for this purpose, this video draws us to focus on the present and stay there. Living in the present moment is the point of mindfulness and mindful meditation. [facebook url=”https://www.facebook.com/1731212513792521/videos/1741001856146920/” /]
Share with us your experience.
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Rest Stop (Mother’s Day) … love
“Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4: 7; 12
Today, in the United States, we celebrate and remember our mothers on this their special day! What is it about mothers which causes us to feel such a fondness for them? For me, in my life’s journey and reflection, there is no truer description of a mother other than the word “love”. Love, felt in its deepest sense, is expressed by a person (mom) just because we exist. The love of a mother has nothing to do with who I am or what I give in return. No, the love of a mother, whether she bore you or not, is freely given simply because you exist. In this unconditional love is where we find motherhood as a reflection of the Divine, of God. Total and complete love, not requiring anything else.
Several years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book entitled “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten“. I would like to share it now as a tribute to Mothers and all they teach us. I know this wasn’t Fulghum’s intent, but his reflection speaks perfectly to the lessons taught us by the women who very deeply cared for and about us.
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:
Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
BE AWARE OF WONDER. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all — LOOK.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
As we remember and celebrate Mothers on this day, how best can we honor the person who has given us the greatest gift of all: unconditional love!
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Rest Stop (Leap Day) … 5 tips to make it unique
Today is a day which only comes around every 4 years! Today, “Leap Day”, exists to correct the scientific calculations of our current western calendar. But, I’m not writing about the scientific reasons for this day. Instead, I imagine great possibilities that this extra day provides us.
I tend to look at this day as a gift given us to be used wisely. I figure that a day which only comes around every 4 years deserves to be treated in a unique and special way. This day is not like any other day, although I fear most people don’t recognize the uniqueness of this day. Why is it that a day which happens only once every 4 years becomes overlooked by most of the population? Personally, I don’t have an answer to that question. But the answer is not as important if we now come to the realization that we have been given a unique gift in this day.
So, we need to celebrate this day in a special way! This is extra time given to us in our very busy lives. What shall we do with this gift?
- My first suggestion is to acknowledge the specialness of this day, understanding that today is a gift given to you.
- Make a list of the top five things for which you are grateful. Set aside a specified time today to acknowledge your gratitude.
- What one thing do you typically not have time to do? Write down the time that you will do that one thing today. If your one thing cannot be accomplished today, then begin to work on preparations to make that one thing happen soon. Use today as your extra time for those preparations.
- If you don’t regularly meditate, set aside a time today for at least 10 minutes of quiet meditation. If you are unsure how to meditate, either do an internet search, or check out my website which has suggestions.
- Do something special for yourself which you normally either would not do, or do not typically have the time to do.
If you happen to see and read this post too late in the day, or not even on the day, don’t fret. These suggestions work on any day as long as you have the motivation and the desire to make them happen. Please share with us what you were able to do, or if you had any difficulties in making this day special. We will learn from each other.
Happy Leap Day!
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Rest Stop (Thursday) … mindfulness meditation works
As many of us spend much of our time rushing around, we don’t seem to have the time for meditation. I often write and speak about the importance of daily meditation, understanding that there are more of us who want to meditate than actually do meditate. Good intentions; I know, I’ve been there.
One of the rationales I hear from busy people is “I would take time to meditate if I knew it would help me, but it’s just a fad, right?” If your definition of a “fad” allows for the practice of meditation lasting thousands of years, than yeah, it’s a fad. I believe that our culture sees meditation as a “fad” because it is “new” to our culture, and the practice of meditating has been relegated to the “new age” genre. As such, some don’t feel the desire to try something that will “eventually go out of style”.
But what if mindfulness meditation were scientifically, and medically, shown to be healing and transformative? A few months ago I shared with you a study from Harvard which demonstrated that meditation generated new grey matter in the brain. Well, we now have the results of a study done at Carnegie Mellon University which “for the first time shows that, unlike a placebo, it [mindfulness meditation] can change the brains of ordinary people and potentially improve their health.” This is what the authors of the study wrote:
Click here for the link to the New York Times article summarizing the study
Click here for the link to the actual research article
Please share with us your thoughts on this topic, and if you practice meditation, do you find positive health results?
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Rest Stop (Valentine’s Day) … love is an action
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
Heart Cloud (credit: unknown)
Today, as many of us celebrate Valentine’s Day, our thoughts turn to love and those whom we love. But do we really understand what that simple, yet very powerful word, LOVE, means? This four letter word holds power, and not just power over our emotions, but also power over the prospect of world peace.
So what does this word mean? Personally, this is a tough word for me to reflect on since my natural inclination is more toward the intellectual pursuits not understanding my emotions. Yes, as a counselor I deal with emotions, but note what I wrote: “my” emotions. I have no issue in helping others to come to an understanding of their own emotions and how they affect their lives. But my emotions, well, that’s a whole different story.
So, what is love? This is what the Christian bible states about love:
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Rest Stop (Ash Wednesday) … letting go
Today, Christians around the world will receive ashes on their forehead as a reminder that we came from dust and will once again return to dust. Therefore, “Ash Wednesday” is a time to pause, reflect on our lives, and make plans to remove from our lives those aspects of ourselves which do not lead us closer to our God.
The practice of pruning our lives of those areas which are not healthy or which take us away from our inner-peace, produces a sense of humility as we realize that we are not perfect, but that we have the ability to learn from our imperfections. Letting go allows us to be true to ourselves, and open to the guidance of others.
There are people who exemplify humility, and for me, the ideal example comes from Saint Francis of Assisi. He was a wealthy son of a powerful merchant father, who, after gaining personal insight, gave up everything to live in poverty and to serve the poor in the spirit of Jesus. It wasn’t simply the giving up of everything that made Francis humble; it was his attitude and way of living. In the book “The Way of St. Francis: the Challenge of Franciscan Spirituality for Everyone“, author Murray Bodo, OFM writes:
In other words, living our lives focused on our values, and in a true sense of a love of neighbor, will keep us grounded (humble) and focused on our priorities (simplicity). Today’s closing prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours morning prayer nicely sums up what I am saying: “Change our selfishness into self-giving. Help us to embrace the world you have given us, that we may transform the darkness of its pain into life and joy.”
What can we do to help us attain humility and simplicity?
- Spend 10 minutes each day in quiet, focusing your thoughts on simple phrases and your breathing.
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Spend time watching and reflecting on the nature around you. Do you see the ant, flower, bird, leaf, dog, cat, etc. What are they doing?
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Make a list of your life’s priorities. Those items at the top of your list need your full attention. The rest, well, decide what is necessary and what is merely clutter in your life.
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Help others. Love your neighbor.
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…. a thought from Chris Shea:
My goal, and the mission of “Lifesjourney”, is to guide us toward finding self-awareness and inner peace. I encourage us to view our lives from varied perspectives trying to find what daily practices strengthen us along our journey.
Lifesjourney’s philosophy for finding inner peace lies in two basic concepts: keeping our thoughts on the present moment, and practicing some form of daily meditation.
“Mindfulness” is a word I often use in my writings, on my social media, and a concept I use with my clients. One of the pioneers in the mindfulness movement, Jon Kabat-Zinn, defines mindfulness as:
“a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
Personally, the two key phrases in this definition which I feel are important are “on purpose” and “nonjudgmentally”. To find our inner-peace we need to consciously make the choice to spend time every day focusing our attention on what is happening around us and within us. Our focus is not meant to judge what is happening, just to notice it. As we become aware of our surroundings and our inner self, we will become aware of life’s joys and potential. In our state of focused awareness, we are enabled to see solutions; to see hope.
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