Posts Tagged ‘mindfulness’
5 Tips on How Mindfulness Will Change Your Life
“Hey, did you see that?”
“No, I missed it. What was it?”
Does this conversation sound familiar? It sure does to me. My days were so busy and hectic that I had no time to care to notice something other than the task hand. At the end of each day I wondered where the day went! I had always lived that way, until recently.
A few years ago I changed jobs to one which allowed me to have the summer off. After 20 years of working year round, having a few months off was strange, and even unsettling. After a week without I had no idea what to do with myself. I was ”forced” to slow down. It wasn’t comfortable at first, but over time I started to discover that I was physically, mentally, and spiritually slowing down. As I was slowing down I found myself feeling more peaceful. As the summer progressed I no longer was anxious, I didn’t rush, and I began to notice the world around me.
I wasn’t yet consciously aware of this, but I was beginning to live mindfully. As I slowed myself I focused my thoughts and attention to the present moment. No longer was I dwelling on my past nor anxious about the future. Wow! What a change for me as previously I was the king of anxiety and worry!
Mindfulness is commonly defined as: “a means of paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” (Jon Kabat-Zinn) Personally, the two key phrases in this definition which I feel are important are “on purpose” and “nonjudgmentally”. To find our inner-peace we need to consciously make the choice to spend time every day focusing our attention on what is happening around us and within us. Our focus is not meant to judge what is happening, just to notice it, to experience it. As we become aware of our surroundings and inner self, we become aware of life’s joys and potential. In this state of focused awareness, we are enabled to see solutions; to see hope.
The goal of mindfulness is for us to slow down enough to fully experience life. Mindfulness is not a means to avoid negative aspects of life, but to fully live those experiences to learn how to cope with them in a healthy way. Many of us try to avoid negativity, yet discover that we may be successful at avoidance for a time, yet once again we are hit with that which we were avoiding. Mindfulness asks us to be aware of all of our emotions, to feel everything, even the negativity. In so doing, we end up coping with what we at first wanted to avoid. Coping teaches us skills for dealing with future negativity in our lives.
Living mindfully is a daily practice of noticing the little things. For example, one can eat mindfully by doing so intentionally, savoring each bite, and not rushing through a meal without truly tasting the food. During your commute, or rushing from one task to another, one can mindfully (intentionally) notice the details of the flora, buildings, people, cracks in the sidewalk, etc.
How does mindfulness lead us to feeling peaceful? The short answer: mindfulness guides us to live in the moment, for it is only in the moment where we have “control” in our lives. By control, I mean our ability to change our thoughts and perceptions. If I allow my thoughts to stay in either the past or the future, I will suffer from stress and anxiety since I have no control over those time periods. All that I can do with the past is to learn lessons; in the future, all I can do is prepare, in the moment, for the unknown which has yet to happen. Therefore, keeping my thoughts focused on the present moment allows me to feel life to its fullest, while choosing the thoughts I wish to think.
A bit over 5 years later I now find myself living in a sense of peace. Does this mean that my life is now perfect? Not at all! What it does mean is that through mindfulness I learned a new set of coping skills. This is what I’ve learned since that summer:
- Spend time each day in meditation, whether it be in stillness or walking. Just 10-20 minutes a day will calm and center you.
- Each time my thoughts venture to either the past or the future, I consciously change my thoughts to the present moment.
- Spend time noticing the little things in life. Observe your surroundings, your feelings and your thoughts.
- If you notice that you don’t like how you feel, our you are not feeling at peace, change your perspective and redo numbers 1-3 above.
- Always believe in hope, even if you don’t feel hopeful at the moment. Hope and change is possible even without my belief in it.
Inner-peace is attainable if we take the time to focus our thoughts on the present moment. It takes practice; I’m still working on it. But if you have the desire to incorporate mindfulness into your daily practice, follow this maxim: “Progress, not perfection.” (Eds. Note: This article was originally published at Your Tango. Reprinted with permission from the author.)
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autumn: learning from change
Fall scene in MA (credit: Blog author)
Way back in the 1980’s I took this photo while I lived in a small town in western Massachusetts. Most people I know tend to get excited, perk up, prepare for, and are encouraged as Spring moves into Summer. Not that I don’t like Summer, but for me, I do the same preparations for the beginning of Autumn. I must say, Autumn is by far my most favorite season (with Winter a close second). And now here we are, the first day of Autumn (officially starting at 10:21 am EDT)!
As far back as I can remember I have enjoyed Autumn. Growing up in the northern reaches of the US I am used to the colder seasons, probably part of the reason for my enjoyment of Autumn. Of all the seasons I find this one to be especially focused on family and God. During this season there are holidays, gatherings and the beginning of school. Halloween and Thanksgiving are near with Christmas not too far away. The cooler weather draws us closer together as we huddle indoors, and as we do so I hope we recognize the presence of God in our lives and those of our loved-ones.
For many, this is a season of desolation with the greenery dying off and the days shorter. But, as we look around we can see much color, hear the sounds of the leaves beneath our feet, and smell the cornucopia of scents invading our nostrils. This may be a time of decay, but in the transition of the season we are given a most wonderful and beautiful gift; the gift of change. It is, hopefully, a gift to inspire us. For me, I see beauty before I see the decay and desolation. There is also a beauty in the recognition that after this time of desolation will come another season of rebirth and new growth. This season is not the end, but only the beginning. This season represents change, and in the process of change we feel the pain before the joy. We may now be experiencing a decay and desolation, but it is all a part of the circle of life, for the trees will reproduce their leaves and the fallen leaves will provide fertilizer enabling the new growth of plants in the Spring. This is a season of preparation, yet in this time of preparation there is also its own beauty.
Change is never easy, and as I have blogged about in the past (click here to find previous posts) it is necessary to remember that change, although different, doesn’t have to be negative. The process may be painful, but if we focus on the result we see that for which we long. As we see the leaves fall we are assured there will be Spring followed by Summer. The cycle of life; mirroring the cycles of our lives.
Here are a few suggestions I have come up with to help in this time of transition:
- Recall the memories of this past Summer. Cherish your experiences from the past season.
- Acknowledge, don’t try to hide, the past with its pleasures, hurts, and expectations.
- Spend a few moments in quiet prayer being thankful for all we have and asking for guidance and strength to make it through this new season.
- Anticipate the future in this new season. Prepare for what you can control; plan for what you can’t (see previous blog posts on this topic).
- Experience this season of Autumn through the eyes of a child – you will be surprised at the insights.
In all things, try to cherish the moment at hand.
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coping with anxiety; a personal story
Ed note: I am pleased to present this post from guest blogger Ms. Amanda LePore.
I have anxiety. It runs in my family, so I should have expected it (thanks a lot, genes!). Growing up, I felt that I wasn’t completely “normal.” (insert all the jokes about me being an “awkward weirdo” here) I mean, don’t get me wrong, I had a great childhood with a loving family, great friends, etc., but I noticed that I would act a bit differently than my friends. I was a “goody-two-shoes,” but to the point where I would cry and it would be a huge deal when someone was mad at me or I got in trouble. In hindsight, I had a lot of guilt over things that now I realize weren’t that big of a deal. One memory is from 2nd grade when I told my friend that a lunch lady was fat and having that friend go and tattle on me… then I needing help getting my shoes tied and the only person available was the one I had insulted. I felt like such an awful person (this was one of the things I confessed at my first Holy Communion… Yeah, like I said, didn’t get in trouble often).
I was also a bit of a perfectionist, especially when it came to school. I would cry when I came home with a bad grade. I was a pretty sensitive child, I guess. But the thing is… I wasn’t forced to be a certain way. My parents expected me to try my best and work hard, but I wasn’t punished when I got a low score on a test or assignment. I was just encouraged to improve however possible.
Once adulthood hit, the feelings started getting harder to handle. I was quick to have a temper, I had little to no patience, I was pretty emotional and on top of all that, I was starting to have physical panic attacks; shakiness, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, etc. It was then I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I tried various medications, which either made me feel numb to the world or just did nothing for me. I went to therapy for a few sessions, which I feel did not personally help because I already would blab about my problems to anyone that would listen. But the anxiety was starting to affect the relationships in my life, so I had to figure out something.
Early in 2014 I was going on my first trip abroad (first time on a plane, too) to London on a college trip for 10 days. I loved this trip but there was one major thing about the trip I would’ve changed; that I wasted hundreds of dollars because I had a massive panic attack before seeing a show on West End with my friends. What was the reason for my panic attack? To this day I don’t know exactly what set it off. The caffeine from my Starbucks drink? The temperature of the theatre making me feel sick? The feeling of suffering alone while my friends were all in the show? I’m not sure. All I know is that I had to go to the first aid station and explain to the guy working there that I was losing feeling in my pinkies and I thought I was going to pass out and vomit at the same time. He explained that there were no diseases or conditions that would be causing that and that it must be an anxiety attack. I had never had one before in my life! I was brought to a VIP section where I had my own private bathroom and couch set-up, but I wasn’t able to watch the show. It was embarrassing and upsetting. I felt so terrible, both physically and mentally.
That was one of the moments that forced me to get my anxiety under control. I chose to make lifestyle changes. I started running and trying to eat better, yet I still had almost daily nausea and just a terrible feeling all the time. I got a blood test that came back completely normal. I knew there was nothing else wrong; it was truly my anxiety wreaking all this havoc on my body and mind. I decided to try a different kind of medication, Prozac. I am now on the lowest dosage and I honestly feel that it’s working well. I rarely feel sick and I’m learning how to cope and handle my anxiety in a healthy way. Honestly, I’m sad I didn’t find this medication sooner and I am pretty grateful for having it now.
I do not have shame for having anxiety. Everyone has something they have to work through with themselves. Just because it may be “in your head” doesn’t mean it’s not real. This is my personal story with anxiety. Everyone is different. Do not give up! Sometimes the needed change requires a mix of lifestyle changes, medication and/or therapy.
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The author of this post is Ms. Amanda LePore, the “voice” of Lifesjourney Life Coaching and On Finding Peace podcast. She is a 23-year-old actress, model, voiceover artist and radio host. She was born and raised on Long Island, NY, relocating to the Southern Maryland area in 2006. She holds a bachelor’s degree in theatre with minors in film, media studies, dance, and English. Check out her blog page at astheamandaturns.wordpress.com and website at www.msamandalepore.com. Her business email is msamandalepore@gmail.com.
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Rest Stop (Fri) … freedom & hope is possible: here’s how
I’m writing this article while sitting at home on the 4th of July. Unfortunately, this summer holiday is being rained out in my part of the world. The cool temps, clouds, and rain make today feel more like autumn than mid-summer. So, while sitting here, I am thinking about freedom and how freedom applies to my life and not just a country. Do I have freedom? Am I truly free? Yes, we all have the potential to be free! Let’s find out how.
Have you ever thought of how minuscule our place is in the universe? I do. Try it now for a moment. In reference to the vastness of the millions of galaxies, and the large size of our planet, focusing now on my exact location, where do I really fit in? Am I just a cog in the gears of the universe, or do I have freedom?
A few weeks ago I attended a symposium focused on the current heroin epidemic in the US. The conference room was filled with professionals from multiple agencies, each focused on finding solutions to stop people from dying from opioids. As an addiction counselor myself I have worked with many people in their attempt to find freedom from their addictions. A person’s circumstances, life choices, views on life, and ability to obtain drugs all play a role in a person’s addiction. No one whom I’ve ever met aspires to becoming an addict, yet there are too many people who have lost their freedom to a drug. The ability for a person to move beyond one’s addiction into the freedom of recovery is, in my opinion, based on one important understanding; my ability to choose my attitude about myself and my life. Freedom is lost when we lose our perspective on life and allow others’ perspectives about us to take root and grow in our thoughts.
Not long ago, while I was out on a walk along the side of a road, I noticed a caterpillar also out on a walk along the same road. While watching the caterpillar I couldn’t help to think that his perspective on the world and where he fits in this vast universe is so much different from mine. Even though we both were only a mile or so from my house, would the caterpillar ever know that the world extends that far? I’m certain that he is oblivious to the actual size of our planet as his perspective, like our own, limits his world. There was a time when we humans didn’t even realize the vast size of our planet. How alike are we to the caterpillar?
As I further reflect on my caterpillar friend, I would like to think that his life’s perspective is simpler than mine. More than likely he stays focused on the present moment, hopeful and trusting that his instincts will properly guide him to safety and food. His sense of the present, without fear for the future, enables him to be free. When was the last time I was able to consciously focus on the present moment long enough to trust my instincts to guide me? There’s a lot I (we) can learn from this caterpillar.
Fr. Anthony de Mello, SJ, tells a story which I feel is appropriate to my reflections on the caterpillar:
“What would I do then?”
“Then you could really enjoy life.”
“What do you think I am doing right now?’”
Freedom comes from our perspective on life. As with the person struggling from addiction, when I allow my worldview to be dictated by another, I am no longer free. But like this story of the fisherman, and my caterpillar friend, focused perspective on the present moment combined with an understanding of where I fit in the scope of the universe, allows me to live in freedom; a freedom which comes from within, not a freedom dependant from society, culture, or other people.
One of my favorite H. G. Wells’ book is entitled “When the Sleeper Wakes” written in 1898. The premise of Wells’ story is a variation on the Rip Van-Winkle tale of a person falling asleep for a long time, eventually awakening to a world very different from the one he left when he fell asleep. In Wells’ telling, this futuristic world, on the outside, appears to be a utopia. Yet, as the main character learns more about how this new world is organized he realizes that the working class, through their mundane and tedious work, sustains the “utopian” society. In this world there is no chance or even availability for upward advancement.
I believe that true inner freedom fosters a sense of hope and imagination. Who among us does not have dreams for their life’s journey? Wells, in this story, portrays a world devoid of personal hopes or dreams. By removing a person’s ability to advance, what is the point of either hopes or dreams? Dreams give us hope since we know that dreams have, and do, come true. My faith and life experiences allow me to hope and dream as my ability to hope comes from an inner freedom born of a perspective focused on the moment infused with the understanding of my purpose in the universe. I don’t hope and dream because it’s something I’m supposed to do; rather, I hope and dream because I can. Freedom is in knowing and accepting where I am in the grand scheme of things; choosing my attitude about it, at any given moment, is my freedom.
As I continued my walk, leaving my caterpillar friend to his journey, I wondered how I could find my inner freedom. Here are my thoughts:
- How can I change my perspective to realize that even though there is always more to the world out there of which I am not yet aware, the world I do know is filled with potential, adventures and new friends, if only I take the time to notice them.
- What can I do different so that I can experience a life full of hope and dreams toward which I can strive?
- What am I allowing to stand in the road blocking me from inner peace?
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Rest Stop (Tues) … Tips for sleeping soundly
Based on my experience, there are two main reasons we have trouble sleeping: either because you are excited about something upcoming, or you are anxious about something upcoming. I can still vividly remember that night before we as a family were leaving for Washington, DC for the first time. I was a child then, and the thought of travelling all the way to where the president lives was almost overwhelming for me. I tossed and turned in bed; walked around my room, looked out my window into the dark, and before I knew it, I looked out my window to see the sun rising above the horizon. I finally fell asleep in the car during the over 8 hour drive to DC.
Personally, I suffered for many years on Sunday nights trying to get some sleep. I dreaded Sunday nights because as soon as I would lie down in bed for the night the worries and stress of the upcoming week flooded into my thoughts. I had not yet found the peace of living mindfully, and so I allowed the thoughts of the future to take over, believing the worst of what could happen come Monday morning at work. Note that I wasn’t worried about what was going to happen, but what I imagined would happen. These thoughts brought with them a sense of a loss of control as they are future thoughts, not present thoughts. Therefore, I would be tossing and turning, worrying about what had to be done, what I didn’t do, what I forgot to do; but most importantly, what I didn’t know I didn’t know.
In the last few years, as I’ve been working on living mindfully and in the present, I have learned some things which have helped me to no longer dread Sunday nights. I don’t have a nighttime ritual so to speak, but I have figured out a few things that have helped me to sleep peacefully, especially Sunday night.
Here are the tips I use:
- Prior to going to bed, make a list of the projects and tasks you need to do the next day. Make sure the list is no longer than 4 items and that each item is doable in the course of the day.
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Make a separate list of the things you will not have time to do the next day. Next to each item place a date when you will work on them.
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Write down a specific time during the next day when you will spend at least 10 minutes in quiet reflection/meditation. It could be a time for a walk or sitting in quiet. The time needs to be undisturbed and respected by you as important and necessary.
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When you do lay down to sleep, keep your room quiet and as dark as possible. Using white noise (there are many free and paid apps, message me for the ones I use) is helpful. Keeping the TV on or your phone’s screen on inhibit our ability to sleep soundly.
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Lay down in a comfortable position, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and focus on your breathing. Don’t try to control your breathing, just focus on your breathing. Note the breaths you take in, and the breaths you exhale.
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If intrusive thoughts enter your mind, remind yourself of your lists, telling yourself that you have taken care of tomorrow and that your present task is to sleep.
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Return your thoughts to focus on your breathing.
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Personally, when I lay in bed to sleep for the night, I start off by laying on my back with my left hand placed gently over my heart, and my right hand placed gently over my stomach, feeling my breaths and heartbeats.
These tips work for me. Take time to find what works for you, and when you find it, stick with it. Over time, with consistency, you will find yourself sleeping quickly and soundly.
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Rest Stop (Wed) … podcast listeners take note
Many readers of this blog access the content through sources other than the Lifesjourney website, so I thought I would point out to my readers that I also record a podcast called “On Finding Peace”.
“Life is sometimes difficult, but even so, it is always possible to find inner-peace. I talk about topics of daily life which cause us stress and anxiety, guiding us on how to change our perspective and to learn how to live in the moment.” -Chris Shea, host of “On Finding Peace”
I am open to topic suggestions, share your suggestions through comments made on this post, or Lifesjourney’s social media. The podcasts are typically 15 minutes in length; long enough to make a point, but short enough to listen in one sitting. Here are the places to find my episodes: 
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Ms. Amanda LePore
The voice of “Lifesjourney” & of “On Finding Peace” is Ms. Amanda LePore. Check out her work by clicking her photo
Rest Stop (Mon) … A caption is needed
A CAPTION WAITING TO BE WRITTEN BY YOU. When I took this photo I figured it would make a great centerpiece for one of my reflections. But, it needs a caption. Give me your suggestions and the best one will be used. Be creative.
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Rest Stop (Sunday) … an example of living mindfulness
I often talk about mindful living, yet I recognize the difficulty in fully understanding not only what it means, but also how it “looks”. When I first saw this video on social media I immediately said to myself “this is what mindfulness is all about!”
After watching this video reflect back on your experience, noticing your thoughts at time (past, present, or future), and recall your emotions while watching the video. Although not created for this purpose, this video draws us to focus on the present and stay there. Living in the present moment is the point of mindfulness and mindful meditation. [facebook url=”https://www.facebook.com/1731212513792521/videos/1741001856146920/” /]
Share with us your experience.
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Rest Stop (Mother’s Day) … love
“Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4: 7; 12
Today, in the United States, we celebrate and remember our mothers on this their special day! What is it about mothers which causes us to feel such a fondness for them? For me, in my life’s journey and reflection, there is no truer description of a mother other than the word “love”. Love, felt in its deepest sense, is expressed by a person (mom) just because we exist. The love of a mother has nothing to do with who I am or what I give in return. No, the love of a mother, whether she bore you or not, is freely given simply because you exist. In this unconditional love is where we find motherhood as a reflection of the Divine, of God. Total and complete love, not requiring anything else.
Several years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book entitled “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten“. I would like to share it now as a tribute to Mothers and all they teach us. I know this wasn’t Fulghum’s intent, but his reflection speaks perfectly to the lessons taught us by the women who very deeply cared for and about us.
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:
Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life — learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
BE AWARE OF WONDER. Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the styrofoam cup — they all die. So do we. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all — LOOK.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living. Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are — when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
As we remember and celebrate Mothers on this day, how best can we honor the person who has given us the greatest gift of all: unconditional love!
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Rest Stop (Palm Sunday) … the start to an emotional week
Today, for Christians around the world, Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Holy Week, the days leading up to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Spiritually, Holy Week has always been a special time for me as this week is a high point of much emotion in the life of Jesus, His early followers, and for me. In my personal spiritual journey I try to understand what it was like living in the time of Jesus. I read historical books as well as the Bible in my attempt to more deeply understand and feel the emotions of the people of the time. In my effort for a deeper and closer relationship with God, I immerse myself into the Bible stories, trying to feel what they felt; experience what they experienced. This week, Holy Week, is a recollection of not just an ancient story, but a retelling of real events which happened to real people who lived real emotions, real feelings, and real experiences.
Our challenge this week is to enter into the emotions of the apostles and the bystanders as they experienced the events leading up to the betrayal, arrest, death and later resurrection of Jesus. The emotions of this week begin today, with the joyous celebration of Jesus entering, as a beloved hero, into Jerusalem. Later this week the joyous celebration and exaltation of today becomes the confusion of Thursday as one of their own betrays and hands over Jesus to the Romans to be arrested. Quite quickly the feeling of confusion turns to fear and depression on Friday when Jesus is tortured and later killed as a common criminal. Jesus, for whom they left family and jobs, is now dead, betrayed by one of their own! Three days later comes the bewilderment and hope as news spreads of Jesus’ resurrection Sunday morning!
As this week unfolds I will share with you my reflections and feelings of the events of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday. I invite you to join with me in my spiritual journey this week. Share with us your reflections and emotions as you journey through this holy week.
My challenge for today:
- What can I do to more deeply understand the emotions and reactions of the apostles as they triumphantly enter Jerusalem?
- What can this week teach me about my faith life?
- How do I hope to have my life changed by this exercise of delving into the emotions of the stories of this week?
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